[Ed. note: The McRib is temporarily on McDonald's menus, and while we could have safely eaten the leftovers from the one we had a year ago, we decided to just repost this to help those of you deciding whether or not to have one. This is back before we put a "verdict" on every sandwich, so I'll just say this: the McRib is just something you have to do, whether you like it or not. Like puberty. The McRib is like puberty.]
Like a shooting star, the McRib appears bright and shining, but only for an instant, and if you blink, you miss it. The seasonal sandwich just showed up on our McDonald's menu—and will be at every McDonald's nationwide next month. We just went to get some, a move which seemed to shock the people behind the counter.
Mike: So, the McRib is seasonal. The Shamrock Shake goes with St.Patrick's Day—why is the McRib out now?
Ian: Halloween. It's non-food wearing a food costume.
Eva: Or because it's the living dead.
In this case, "Created Just For You" sounds like a threat.
Peter: I think it only comes out once a year because you need that long to forget it. Like childbirth.
Mike: Or it's that the gestation period of whatever freakish animal this comes from is 12 months long.
Eva: This reminds me of particleboard, but with meat.
Ian: It's particlemeat.
Mike: In the Garden of Eden, God made Eve out of Adam's rib. Then he made Grimace out of a McRib.
Mike: What is this? On the box, it should say "No Animals Were Harmed In The Making of this Sandwich."
Peter: Now that I've had a bite, I'd like to go eat my actual lunch, but I'm afraid to eat.
Ian: Your stomach no longer trusts your hands and mouth.