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Unger Report: Advice For Potential Cabinet Appointees

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Unger Report: Advice For Potential Cabinet Appointees

Unger Report: Advice For Potential Cabinet Appointees

Unger Report: Advice For Potential Cabinet Appointees

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  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/100430260/100430234" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

Thinking of moving into the public sector and serving in the Obama administration, but worried that an error on a tax form may doom your chances? Fear not.

MADELEINE BRAND, host:

Back now with Day to Day. Daschle, Killefer, Geithner, Baird and Wood; no, it's not a law firm, they are but a few federal appointees whose nominations ran into trouble because of alleged tax problems. Our humorist Brian Unger has some tax advice for future appointees in today's Unger Report.

(Soundbite of music)

BRIAN UNGER: Once you shaped policy for a nation as a leader in government; later, you created wealth for a corporation as a titan of industry. Now, with all that accumulated money, expertise and prestige, your president wants you to serve your country again in a fancy government job.

(Soundbite of dramatic music)

UNGER: But there's a problem.

(Soundbite of dramatic music)

UNGER: You employ an undocumented Guatemalan nanny, a Mexican housekeeper, an El Salvadorian chauffeur and pool boy, with a child by the Mexican housekeeper who hired your Guatemalan nanny. And for all of whom you owe payroll taxes. The Malawian baby you brought in to the country seemed like a good idea at that time. And as it turns out, you owe back taxes yourself. Yeah, you've been living the dream.

(Soundbite of music)

UNGER: But now that it's time to serve your country, it's time to get Oversight Protection, OSP. We're the revolving-door tax experts who help people go from public sector to private sector and back again without all the hassles and humiliation of governmental oversight. How do we do it?

(Soundbite of music)

UNGER: The revolving-door tax experts in OSP used to work for them, the feds. And now they work for us, and thus, they work for you Mr. or Ms. Cabinet Secretary, Agency Head, Senator. For whoever you need to be, there is OSP, Oversight Protection. Why do you need OSP? Because if you aspire to a government job, but so much as tipped an immigrant who loaded groceries into your car, you could be in violation of tax laws without even knowing it. How many years have you overlooked paying Social Security or Medicare taxes for a Panamanian woman living in your basement?

(Soundbite of music)

UNGER: Tax meet problem. That's when you get OSP. You served your country once, left and got filthy rich. Now, let OSP clean you up so you can serve again. OSP: When a tax oversight falls under governmental oversight, we'll be there to oversee it.

(Soundbite of music)

UNGER: And that is today Unger report. I'm Brian Unger.

BRAND: Humor on Mondays from the Unger Report.

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