A Green Version of NASCAR?

Our humorist imagines a new kind of high-endurance car racing to compete with NASCAR: Hybrid Prius racing, inspired by the lead-footed son of former Vice President Al Gore.

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MADELEINE BRAND, host:

Last week, Al Gore III was caught on a highway here in Southern California doing more than 100 miles per hour in a Toyota Prius.

In today's Unger Report, our humor guy Brian Unger has an idea for a new kind of race.

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BRIAN UNGER: It's the Al Gore Prius NASCAR Classic with grand marshal Al Gore III, world land speed record holder in Prius hybrid racing. Low emission, high thrills, Prius racing without all the roaring engines.

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UNGER: Feel the electricity. Live from the Brentwood Country Club Motor Speedway, gentlemen, push your start buttons.

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UNGER: Watch world-class Prius hybrid drivers on one track in one race going head-to-head - Susan Sarandon, K-K-Kevin Bacon, Denzel Washington, Kyra Sedgewick, Leonardo D-D-DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, and M-M-Mike Farrell, and many, many more, all competing for the nation's top prize in Prius racing, one million gallons of vegetable oil.

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UNGER: And then for the ladies, the lady Prius in-field driving competition. Who can back up their Prius fastest with a beeping sound and a car full of crying babies? And who will win the rear seat fold-down contest?

For the kids, don't miss grand marshal Al Gore III's Prius clinic. With how-dos and how-don'ts of Prius driving, like growing pot in your Prius. It's the ultimate greenhouse. Pills and your Prius. Treat your car like a medicine cabinet. The Popo and your Prius, how to outrun the cops and still get good mileage. And join a special Prius political panel hosted by Bill Maher - in his Prius.

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UNGER: Don't Miss the Al Gore Prius NASCAR Classic, one day only at the Brentwood Country Club Motor Speedway. Liberals get in free. Featuring a bonus Republican Prius death match. Prius owner Senator Richard Lugar takes on Congressman Tom Tancredo in five laps of conservative one-on-one action.

Bring the whole family by the Prius picture booth. Learn how to take family photos with your rearview camera. It's not just a parking aid, it's a portrait machine. Then stop in for a drink at the hybrid lounge. Get twice as drunk on half the booze. The electric combustible Al Gore Prius NASCAR Classic with the grand marshal, the man who put the high in hybrid, Al Gore III. First 500 through the door get a free a donation made in their name to the Al Gore presidential campaign fund. Don't miss it.

UNGER: And that is today's Unger Report. I'm Brian Unger.

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