As You Age, Time Turns Off The Lights

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A row of light bulbs. i

Commentator Andrei Codrescu says that as you grow older, time seems to be putting out lights. hide caption

itoggle caption
A row of light bulbs.

Commentator Andrei Codrescu says that as you grow older, time seems to be putting out lights.

"I've got to say something," I said to Laura. "What should I say?"

"How should I know?" she said.

I said, "Something that will interest a lot of people, not just us!"

"If a lot more people would be interested in our problems, they might turn out to be their problems, too!" she said.

"Maybe I should write about global warming!" I proclaimed.

"Maybe you should write about bulb dimming," she said.

She had a point there: Bulbs have been dimming, and I'm not talking about flower bulbs. It's more like time has been going around putting out lights. When you're 20, you think the future's so bright, it's like that song: You're immortal, and you need sunglasses. When you're 30, you look to make a living, maybe establish a family, and it's a mellow light out there, full of summertime possibilities.

And when you're 40, you're squinting a bit because you're not making enough money, you can't pay for your kids' school, your family isn't all that you were hoping for, you're commuting on a dingy highway instead of drinking martinis at the beach. At 50, you might be content to watch TV in the chiaroscuro if you're reasonably certain the kids aren't OD'ing and your wife is really at the hairdresser's. Or you might be managing a motel on the interstate for room and board, and writing your memoirs, blaming your parents for everything.

At 60, you're looking forward to retiring and getting to that martini beach in the neon light you can't see your wrinkles by. Or, if you just got fired, drinking from a paper bag under a streetlight. In any case, whether you've climbed into that neon sunset or are watching the changing traffic lights from under a bridge, the light's gotten a lot dimmer since you first saw the sunrise at 20 after staying up all night. Plus, your kids never call, and your parents can't remember who you are.

"And how is this dim scenario going to interest anybody?" said Laura. "Don't you think everybody's been feeling dim all on their own, thank you very much?"

"Well, that's the point," I said, brightening for a minute. "Everybody talks about global warming, but what they really worry about is bulb dimming."

"You have something there," she said, flipping the channel.



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