The Top 'Nontroversies' Of 2009

Sarah Palin i i

Sarah Palin delivers her farewell speech as she officially resigns July 26 during the annual Governor's Picnic at Pioneer Park in Fairbanks, Alaska. Eric Engman/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Eric Engman/Getty Images
Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin delivers her farewell speech as she officially resigns July 26 during the annual Governor's Picnic at Pioneer Park in Fairbanks, Alaska.

Eric Engman/Getty Images

They seemed so important at the time, didn't they? The "breaking news" stories over which much blogging was blogged and cable TV careers were made. But as 2009 gets ready to jump its own shark, what seemed monumental, in retrospect, has all the significance of a Michael Steele press release. So before they're buried in the potter's field of time, let's take a look back at some of the top nontroversies of 2009.

The Other Shoe In The Palin Resignation

Remember that huge scandal that was going to almost just about pretty much for sure break days after Sarah Palin left office? She was pregnant with John Edwards' love child or something like that? Still waiting for it. C'mon, haters. There are better reasons to dislike Palin than her early resignation.

Carrie Prejean i i

Carrie Prejean, who won the Miss California USA 2009 title and competed for Miss USA, arrives at a news conference May 12 at Trump Tower in New York City. Michael Loccisano/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption Michael Loccisano/Getty Images
Carrie Prejean

Carrie Prejean, who won the Miss California USA 2009 title and competed for Miss USA, arrives at a news conference May 12 at Trump Tower in New York City.

Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

Skip Gates Vs. Sgt. Crowley

What happens when an arrogant object meets an overzealous force? Welcome to post-racial America.

Carrie Prejean's Miss US-Odyssey

Did anyone really care about the answer to a question on a social issue that a woman in a bikini and high heels at a beauty pageant gave to a blogger who makes his living drawing phallic images on celebrity photos?

Obama The Teleprompter President

You know, "Obama overuses a teleprompter" only slightly beat out the "Bo wasn't a rescue pooch" nonstory. And, by the way, the "birther" stuff was so not anything, it couldn't even make the list.

Falcon Heene i i

"Balloon Boy" Falcon Heene sits outside his home Oct. 15 in Fort Collins, Colo. Falcon was found hiding in the attic after his family reported that he was on an experimental balloon built by his father that had floated away from the home. John Moore/Getty Images hide caption

itoggle caption John Moore/Getty Images
Falcon Heene

"Balloon Boy" Falcon Heene sits outside his home Oct. 15 in Fort Collins, Colo. Falcon was found hiding in the attic after his family reported that he was on an experimental balloon built by his father that had floated away from the home.

John Moore/Getty Images

Reality TV Scandals

From Jon and Kate to the Balloon Boy family to the Party Crashers, reality TV "stars" and "wannabes" proved that truth has more issues than fiction. And fame is best left to those who can handle it. Like well-adjusted Hollywood celebrities.

A 'Wise Latina'

You know, that's the kind of stupid remark you'd think only a dumb white guy would make.

Le Affaire Tiger

So, let me get this straight: A rich, young athlete cheats on his former bikini model ex-nanny wife? This is really what dominated the news cycle the same week the president announced his new strategy for the war in Afghanistan and Congress inched closer to universal health care? Congrats, America. You've officially proved your disdain for the relevant.

It's been quite a year of overhyped extraneousness, hasn't it? Here's hoping your 2010 is filled with nothing but significance.

Commentator John Ridley is head writer for The Wanda Sykes Show.

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