No More 'Bigfoot Love Slave' on Magazine Racks
(Soundbite of music)
Unidentified Man: "Man Grows World's Longest Nose Hair," "Dead Puppy's Ghost Breaks Wind and Burst," "I was Bigfoot's Love Slave."
SCOTT SIMON, host:
Supermarket checkout lines will soon be more drab. The Weekly World News announced that it will cease paper publication and will only be available on the Internet. Several times a year, I bought a copy when some headlines proved they're irresistible.
Unidentified Man: "Aging Space Alien Applies to Social Security," "Donald Rumsfeld Sleeps with GI Joe Dolls," "Castro Smuggling Big Macs into Cuba for Himself."
SIMON: WWN is the supermarket tabloid that didn't feast on the misfortunes of Lindsay, Paris, Brad, and Jen, but ran stories that practically winked from the check-out rack.
Unidentified Man: "Bat Child Found In Cave," "Saddam and Osama Caught(ph) in Torrid Love Affair."
SIMON: Papers said that they danced slowly and tenderly to "Wind Beneath My Wings." Weekly World News isn't satire like The Onion or even Saturday Night Live; it's comedy. The Onion makes me laugh, but it reads like it's written by Harvard Crimson kids holding down jobs until they sell their first screenplay. WWN reads like it's put out by people who aren't mocking the world, but looking to make a little laughter out of it.
Years ago, they headlined that 12 senators are space aliens, several senators happily confirmed the story, including John Glen who admitted, his space flight was a desperate attempt to get home. Of course, the stories are ridiculous but in the best way, preposterous and laughable.
Unidentified Man: "Pope Wants Mel Gibson As Successor," "Twenty-two-pound Horse-fly Captured," "Man Collects 119 Lbs. of Lint from Bellybutton."
SIMON: Adults and children, both know that there really is no monster in that closet. But now and then, we just enjoy the game.
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