Come Party at Club NASA

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NASA is smarting from two damaging stories involving the space-shuttle program: The agency discovered that a shuttle computer had been sabotaged, and confirmed that some astronauts had shown up to fly past shuttle missions drunk. This inspired our humorist.


Back now with DAY TO DAY. NASA didn't like the news last week - a computer on the space shuttle was sabotaged, reports that some astronauts got drunk before flying on shuttle missions. But Brian Unger was inspired. Here's the Unger report.

(Soundbite of music)

BRIAN UNGER: After you've walk on the moon, once you've lived on a space station, even after you put a rover on Mars, what's left to do?

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UNGER: It's time to party at NASA. Get with the program, the space program, and go bottle the throttle at Club NASA. Shuttle pilots, now you can blast off with a wide range of rocket-fueled cocktails mixed by NASA bartenders - wine, beer and liquor - it's the final frontier at Club NASA, the ultimate party zone.

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UNGER: Want to blow off some steam before the big mission? Club NASA offers happy hour before every launch to take the edge off of seven million pounds of thrust.

Monday is freeze dried beer night. Tuesdays, ride the mechanical shuttle as it rocks and rolls. Wednesdays, dance in your pants. Free diapers to the first 50 through the door so you can drink and go without ever leaving the dance floor. Tinkle, tinkle, little star. And singles, we put the ass-a in NASA with ladies night on Thursdays. Just remember what happens in zero gravity stays in zero gravity. And on Fridays...

Unidentified Man: Toga, toga, toga.

UNGER: Any member of the House Space and Aeronautics subcommittee who wears a toga pays no cover charge.

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UNGER: And this week only at Club NASA, get lit up with the stars. Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton helped inaugurate the latest edition to the NASA fleet - Space Shuttle Intoxicator - the first space shuttle with an open bar.

(Soundbite of music)

UNGER: So what's in your Tang? Hopefully vodka. And remember, in space no one can hear you scream: hey, how do you fly this thing? Leave your car at home and take the shuttle at Club NASA. Just off State Route 405, turn left at the giant spaceship.

(Soundbite of music)

UNGER: And that is today's Unger Report. I'm Brian Unger.

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