20th Century Fox
In His Father's Footsteps: Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) plays an angsty teen who must harness his newly discovered powers as the demigod son of Poseidon — to track down Zeus' stolen lightning bolt.
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
- Director: Chris Columbus
- Genre: Adventure, Fantasy
- Running Time: 119 minutes
Rated PG: action, violence and peril
With: Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Pierce Brosnan, Catherine Keener, Rosario Dawson, Uma Thurman
With the Harry Potter franchise in its twilight, the market has officially opened up for kid-friendly fantasy movies featuring precocious wizardry, mythical creatures and titles of marquee-busting breadth. Enter Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, the first adaptation of Rick Riordan's popular young-adult series about an outcast New York boy who discovers he's the son of Poseidon.
It's an irresistible hook: Greek Gods mixing it up with mortals in contemporary times? The perfect opportunity to blow the dust off some classic stories for mass consumption. And who better suited to the task than Chris Columbus, the director who brought the first two Harry Potter entries to the screen?
Almost anyone, I'd guess. In attempting to retrofit Riordan's series to Harry Potter's specs, Columbus and screenwriter Craig Titley have made the equivalent of a cut-rate toy — one that replicates a beloved figure using an ill-formed hunk of plastic. Here, that hunk of plastic is Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman), a wide-eyed sixth-grader in the book, but now a sullen teenager with a CW haircut and an air of vague rebelliousness to match. Long shielded from the knowledge that he's a demigod, the product of a union between Poseidon and a Muggle (Catherine Keener), Percy suddenly gets called into action when Zeus' lightning bolt gets stolen and he's the prime suspect.
The plotting doesn't end there, however, not by a long shot. Alongside his wisecracking best friend Grover (Brandon T. Jackson), a satyr and "junior protector," Percy is whisked away to the Hogwarts School — strike that, Camp Half-Blood, a training ground for demigods to hone their newfound powers. Once there, he and Grover team up with Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario), the fetching and feisty daughter of Athena, to rescue Percy's mother from the clutches of Hades, who's holding her in exchange for the lightning bolt. But first, the trio must dash around the country in search of special pearls for their voyage to the Underworld, squaring off against such familiar foes as Medusa, the Chimera and the Lotus-Eaters.
20th Century Fox
Makeshift Mirror: Percy Jackson rehashes classic Greek myths with cutting-edge technology and Hot Topic costumes — and of course the latest in gadgetry to confound the Medusa (Uma Thurman).
Makeshift Mirror: Percy Jackson rehashes classic Greek myths with cutting-edge technology and Hot Topic costumes — and of course the latest in gadgetry to confound the Medusa (Uma Thurman). 20th Century Fox
Zeus may rule the heavens, but in The Lightning Thief, he's no match for the Greek God of Exposition. Vast swaths of dialogue are devoted to bringing Percy up to speed on the mythical universe that he missed while nodding off in English class — and that doesn't count the various tutorials on the magical pen, shoes and map that come into his possession. And the payoff for giving the Greek stories a modern-day twist? Feeble stuff like thwarting Medusa by using the reflective surface on an iPod or costuming Hades like an aging rock star.
Nothing in The Lightning Thief works, from the chintzy CGI effects (poor Pierce Brosnan affects an awkward gait as a centaur) to the painfully obvious musical cues (a moratorium on "A Little Less Conversation" to introduce a Las Vegas sequence, please). But as with past Columbus films like Stepmom and Home Alone, the film becomes particularly risible when family matters come into play. Since the young demigods, by nature, are raised in single-parent homes, their encounters with the gods are characterized less by wonder than by the therapy-speak of wounded kids with daddy issues. It's the psychobabble, more than any ancient magic, that has the power to reduce the fearsome likes of Zeus, Athena and Poseidon to the puny size of mere mortals.