Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks, on: robots acting less robotic; schools crack down on almost failing students; and workplace discrimination.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Carl reads three news-related limericks, on: robots acting less robotic; schools crack down on almost failing students; and workplace discrimination.

PETER GROSZ, Host:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on the air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link on our website at waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago or our upcoming show in Oklahoma City on September 23rd.

Hi there, you are on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

JASON KOLLER: Hi, this is Jason Koller from Fort Worth, Texas.

GROSZ: Great, how are things in Fort Worth, Texas?

KOLLER: Hot.

GROSZ: Hot.

KOLLER: Yeah.

GROSZ: How hot exactly?

CHARLIE PIERCE: Are you in a puddle on the floor?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KOLLER: Yeah, pretty much.

GROSZ: Well, welcome...

KOLLER: If it makes you guys feel any better about the book you guys were talking about, when I heard you talking about 64 positions in an ancient, ancient book I was thinking it was the strategy guide for chess.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Paula, you found your soul mate.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

GROSZ: All right, Jason, welcome to our show. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each one. And if you could fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the three limericks, you will be a winner. Are you ready to play?

KOLLER: I'm ready.

GROSZ: All right, here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

Of hatred and also devotion, my robot has got a wee notion. Since he's learned to feel, he seems much more real, he's picked up some basic...

KOLLER: Locomotion?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Well, this is a tough one. Carl, let's hear that limerick again.

KASELL: Of hatred and also devotion, my robot has got a wee notion, since he's learned to feel, he seems much more real, he's picked up some basic...

KOLLER: Emotions?

GROSZ: That's right.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: Very good. We got to there, nice work. I mean, that is wonderful thing about robots is that they can do all of the things that people can do without being people. But scientists in Britain have just unveiled a new robot they say has feelings: anger, fear, sadness, happiness, even pride. Which means that the robot is more capable of feeling emotions than the scientists who developed it.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: The robot on "Lost in Space" had emotion.

GROSZ: Well, this robot gets upset if a human being fails to comfort it after it's exposed to a stressful situation. Which seems kind of needy actually. And scientists are already working on the next generation of robot, codename Passive Aggressive Bot 3000.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: It's for people who want a companion who's both high maintenance and high maintenance.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: All right, Jason, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: I did okay on my spelling bee, and attendance was not bad, you see. To my pleas they are deaf, they just gave me an F, 'cause they no longer give out a...

KOLLER: D?

GROSZ: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

GROSZ: D, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: Very good. In an apparent effort to insure that 90 percent of its student body fails this year, New Jersey's Mt. Olive High School has eliminated Ds from its grading system completely. And under the new rules, anything lower than a 70 is an F. That's a move that worries a lot of high school burnouts who for years have carved out a niche for themselves in that real estate between average and failing. In fact, it should also worry White Castle, John Mayer, and the movie "It's Complicated."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Jason, here is your next limerick.

KOLLER: All right.

KASELL: Do looks matter? I don't think they ought, but these men cannot take what I've got. I guess all these jobs are given to slobs, I'm not hired 'cause I am too...

KOHLER: Hmmm.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: We've got ought, got...

KOLLER: Hot?

GROSZ: Hot, that's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: Very good.

KOLLER: Man, I really need to get out from behind my computer more often.

GROSZ: That is all right, Jason. We really should pity them folks, smoking hot women just cannot catch a break in this world.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: This week, scientists at the University of Denver said that hot chicks get overlooked for blue collar jobs like construction supervisors, prison guards, and hardware salespeople.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: I mean, who knew that the porn industry would be so far ahead of the rest of America on women's rights.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: And they're constantly hiring hot women as prison guards.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: And hardware sales people.

POUNDSTONE: Well, you'll notice I haven't been able to get one of those jobs.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Carl, how did Jason do?

KASELL: Well, Jason had three correct answers, so that means he is a winner.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: Yes, nice work. Congratulations, Jason. Thank you for playing with us.

KOLLER: Well, thank you, sir.

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