Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel, this time on family problems: what to do when you don't like your family, and what happens when boomers become grand-boomers.

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PETER SAGAL, Host:

Hi, this is Peter Sagal. Due to an appalling lack of stupidity by public figures this week, we are airing our special family-themed WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! that was recorded in Pasadena, California last year. And please, if you know any celebrities, politicians, dumb bank robbers, kindly have them behave like idiots before next week's show.

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CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and Chicago Public Radio, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Roxanne Roberts and Mo Rocca. And here again is your host, at the Pasadena Civic Auditorium in Pasadena, California, Peter Sagal.

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SAGAL: Thank you so much. Thanks everybody. In just a minute, Carl stars in "Star Trek" episode 7, "The Naked Rhyme." It's a wedding-themed Listener Limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you. This round is all about family problems. Mo.

MO ROCCA: Yes.

SAGAL: In Japan, a new business is catering to those who don't have family or just don't like the family they have. What is this business?

ROCCA: Is it robot families or something like that?

SAGAL: No, not robot families.

ROCCA: Is it like - well the Japanese love Hello Kitty. Can you give me a clue? Is it like...

SAGAL: It's like a geisha, but they just irritate you.

ROCCA: So are they kind of like - geishas that are irritating, are they like stalker geishas?

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ROXANNE ROBERTS: They're a back up.

ADAM FELBER: Geisha Roxie.

ROBERTS: The geisha is just an example. It's not geisha per se. It is what can you do with a geisha that's playing.

ROCCA: You can accept her tea ceremony? No.

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ROCCA: You can let her perform.

ROBERTS: How do you get a geisha?

ROCCA: You get a geisha by buying one. You pay one. You rent a geisha.

SAGAL: You rent a geisha.

ROCCA: Yeah.

SAGAL: So? Instead of renting a geisha you rent?

ROCCA: You rent a family.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

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SAGAL: You know, trying to get you to the right answer is like playing charades except we're talking, Mo.

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FELBER: Water, water, water.

SAGAL: Water, wa-wa, wa-wa.

FELBER: All right, Mo, what we're thinking of is three words and it's rent a family.

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ROCCA: It's hyphenated. That's one word.

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FELBER: We're going to give you another hint. It's rent a family.

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SAGAL: The company that will rent you family members is called Hagemashi Tai. In English, I want to Cheer Up Limited. The company offers relatives for any occasion, with a variety of options. For example, you can rent a standard mother. You can upgrade to the stepmother who'll shower you with gifts in a pathetic attempt to buy your love.

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SAGAL: And let's say you rented an uncle for your wedding and the party starts to drag, you can get an on the spot instant upgrade to creepy uncle.

FELBER: How nice.

ROCCA: There are a lot of rentable mother-in-laws just languishing, waiting probably.

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SAGAL: Adam, the Wall Street Journal reports that as baby boomers become grandmas and grandpas, they are unhappy with what?

FELBER: The quality of music festivals available to them.

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FELBER: It's not like it was, man.

SAGAL: No.

FELBER: Okay, so baby boomers are becoming grandparents and they're disappointed with the quality of...

SAGAL: No, they don't like something.

ROBERTS: They don't like something.

SAGAL: They're grandmas and grandpas but they don't like?

FELBER: Being called grandma and grandpa.

SAGAL: Exactly, right.

ROBERTS: Exactly.

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SAGAL: They don't like it.

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SAGAL: Those who were once known as Bubbe, Zayde, granny, grandad, have new handles these days, lefty, sheriff, and glamma.

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ROCCA: Oh, glamma instead of grandma?

ROBERTS: Oh, that's horrible.

SAGAL: Baby boomers are now...

ROBERTS: No, no.

SAGAL: No, baby boomers are now aging...

ROBERTS: Not really.

SAGAL: ...into the roles of grandparents but they're still clutching onto their youth with their bony, mottled, liver-spotted hands.

One boomer tells the Journal, quote, "I don't see myself as a Bubbe. That's someone from the Old Country, who has an accent and looks frumpy." She then adjusted her hot pants, chugged an Ensure Cosmo and shuffled away on her Juicy Couture walker.

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ROCCA: Oh, that's an Ensure teeny. That's horrible.

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ROBERTS: Baby boomers are going to become grandparents at an older age than many other generations because they had their kids later.

SAGAL: Exactly.

ROBERTS: So, in fact, their grandparents at ages, you know, other generations people were grandparents at 50 and they're not going to be grandparents until 60 or 70. So I don't know why they're whining.

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ROBERTS: Frankly.

FELBER: Well it's got to be weird to look at a child and not know if that's your grandchild or a flashback.

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FELBER: I'm totally seeing a baby.

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FELBER: Anybody else here seen a baby?

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ROCCA: Everybody was like, yes, Neal.

FELBER: Because I'm totally seeing a baby.

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