Sting Tops Magazine List of Worst Lyricists

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Blender magazine has compiled a list of the worst lyricists among rock musicians. However, many talented people are on the list, including Sting and Carly Simon.


Blender magazine has just issued its annual list of the world's worst lyricists. Though they all seem to be English-speaking so who knows what kind of dumb stuff people are writing in Punjabi. It may be instructive to note how many talented people are on their list.

Sting is ranked number one among bad lyricists. He's cited for what the magazine called his cloying spirituality and mountainous pomposity as in "Don't Stand So Close To Me," a song about a student's longing for her teacher and vice versa, which goes, it's no use, he sees her. He starts to shake and cough just like the old man in that book by Nabokov. "Lolita," get it?

Personally, I think that stanza did a lot for the song. And maybe even for Vladimir Nabokov. Carly Simon is cited for rhyming yacht and apricot in "You're So Vain." Well, I suppose you could have sung you walked into the party like you were walking on to a yacht. Your hat strategically dipped below one eye, your scarf smelled of sheep rot.

Nah, the people at Blender probably think this song is about them.

(Soundbite of song, "You're so Vain")

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