Feeling Left Out of 'Key Demographics'
Ms. LAURA LORSON (Commentator): I'm not much of a joiner.
MELISSA BLOCK, host:
Commentator Laura Lorson.
Ms. LORSON: I don't really want to get into it, but there was this incident when I was a brownie. Suffice it to say there are leaders and there are followers, and it turns out that I am neither. Which is why I'm always exasperated when I hear about the latest demographic group that's being courted by politicians. I am never in whatever group seems to be holding sway with the media. I'm not a soccer mom. I'm not a NASCAR dad. I'm not a yellow dog or a blue dog or frankly, any kind of dog. I am not a security mom or a South Park Republican. I'm not a Dixiecrat and I'm not a Reagan Republican. I would not, could not in a box. I would not, could not with a fox.
Basically, there is zero chance that any demographic I fall into would be any kind of prize for a candidate. I am a card-carrying member of the tea-drinking, dog-owning, overweight, red-headed, childless TV watchers who kind of like the idea of universal health care. I can't imagine that anyone is really competing for our votes. What's more, I don't even know anyone who falls into these famous categories. The only person I know who drives a minivan is my dad, and that's because he likes to be able to haul stuff.
My husband is a huge professional wrestling fan. I suppose I could make up something to describe him and his friends. Maybe, they could be the power slam posse or the moonsault mob. They like wrestling, comic books and vinyl records. And incidentally, they also kind of like the idea of universal health care.
None of these tags is really bumper sticker-friendly, though, so whatever my demographic is, it's doomed. We're people who care about social issues. We aren't counting on social security. We don't understand why it matters to the rest of us that it's somehow a law in New Hampshire that they always get to go first in primary season.
If only we had a catchy title. Maybe it could be, people who are kind of interested in universal health care, which is, admittedly, a little vague and not exactly photo-op friendly. I guess I can understand why we'll have a president who reaches out to soccer moms and NASCAR dads - at least their photo-ops are fun.
(Soundbite of music)
BLOCK: Laura Lorson is working on her bumper stickers in Prairie, Kansas.