Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: Salt Treat-ee, Smoked Meat, The Unlunchables.

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PETER SAGAL HOST: Coming up it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924, or click the contact-us link on our website WaitWait.NPR.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium on Chicago and our upcoming show at Powell Hall in St. Louis on June 27th.

You can also check out the latest How To Do Everything podcast, this week, how to pick the perfect wig for espionaging.

(LAUGHTER)

HOST: Hi, you're on WAIT, WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

JENNY ARRIGO: Hi, this is Jenny Arrigo from Columbus, Ohio.

HOST: Hey, how are things in the capital of Ohio?

ARRIGO: Great, beautiful.

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Now outside of Columbus, am I right, there used to be a big giant Styrofoam Jesus coming out of the earth?

HOST: Is that right? Was there a big...

ARRIGO: I don't know where that is.

HOST: Yeah.

GOLDTHWAIT: Oh, really? It - seriously, when you go from Cincinnati to Cleveland there's this really giant large Jesus coming out of the ground. Maybe I just saw it.

(LAUGHTER)

HOST: It's possible.

GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah.

HOST: Well, welcome to the show, Jenny. Bill Kurtis, right now, filling in for Carl, is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to go?

ARRIGO: I am.

HOST: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: If my arteries grind to a halt, it isn't the flavoring's fault. It's time to knock sodium off that podium, it won't help to cut out that...

ARRIGO: Salt.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HOST: Yeah, big news from the CDC this week.

(APPLAUSE)

HOST: Remember them telling you you need to cut down on your salt, it's bad for you? They were wrong. People all across America, according to this new study, went out and started enjoying their food with all the salt they wanted because, of course, health advisories have really been holding us back this far.

TOM BODETT: That's wonderful news.

HOST: Yeah.

BODETT: Can't wait until they tell me that Ben and Jerry's doesn't make me fat, because it seems like it does.

(LAUGHTER)

HOST: I'm sure it's just your imagination. Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Slop does not make my pigs trot, so some strange leafy greens I have bought. I'm turning my hog to a porky snoop dog, my pigs grow real big eating...

ARRIGO: Brats?

HOST: Brats. That would be cannibalistic. But no, it does rhyme with that. Leafy greens is a hint. Snoop dog is a hint. How about pot? My pigs grow real big eating pot. Some West Coast farmers are feeding their pigs weed, marijuana. They say it adds fiber to their diet, gives their meat a richer flavor. And the pork chops seem really relaxed.

(LAUGHTER)

HOST: But do you end up with, like, special hot dogs? Because if my hot dog gives me the munchies for a hot dog and that hot dog makes me want another hot dog.

GOLDTHWAIT: You should put salt on it.

HOST: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: I was just imaging this pen full of introspective hogs, you know.

(LAUGHTER)

HOST: All right. Let's hear your last limerick. Here we go.

KURTIS: The fourth grader packs a cool punch, he knows filmmakers are a cruel bunch. He filmed his inferior gross cafeteria, he's exposing his yucky...

HOST: It's a two-word answer.

ARRIGO: I'm afraid I don't know.

HOST: It rhymes with cool punch, cruel bunch.

ARRIGO: School lunch?

HOST: Yes, indeed.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HOST: Young Zachary Maxwell had shot and directed "Yuck," a fourth grader's short documentary about school lunch. He made the film to show his parents that his lunchroom fare was even grosser than school lunches are supposed to be. It's been winning him awards at festivals and marks the first time since the creation of the internet that anyone has actually had a good reason to take pictures of their food.

(LAUGHTER)

HOST: Having tackled the scourge of elementary school, he's very excited for his next doc, "An Inconvenient Truth About Dodge Ball."

(LAUGHTER)

HOST: Bill, how did our guest do on our show?

KURTIS: Well, Jenny did really well. So we're going to give her the win.

HOST: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

ARRIGO: Thank you.

KURTIS: Good job, Jenny.

HOST: Good job. Thanks so much for playing.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!