Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Bill reads three news-related limericks: Checking Your Work, Skyhound, Grilled Salmonella.

Copyright © 2013 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924, or click the Contact Us link on our website WaitWait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming shows at Powell Hall in St. Louis, Missouri on June 27th and at Tanglewood in Massachusetts, August 29th.

Also check out the latest how-to-do-everything podcast. This week, Mike and Ian tell you how to help out a struggling employee in your office or terrorist cell. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

(LAUGHTER)

KAITLIN MARTINEZ: Hi, this Kaitlin from Orlando, Florida.

SAGAL: Hey, Kaitlin, how are things in Orlando?

MARTINEZ: Hot.

SAGAL: Oh, yeah, they're going to be that way for a while.

(LAUGHTER)

MARTINEZ: Yeah.

SAGAL: What do you do there?

MARTINEZ: I'm a tech writer.

SAGAL: Oh really? So you write about technical things for technical people I guess.

MARTINEZ: Yeah, it's boring.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, well, I'm glad you're so filled with enthusiasm for your job. Welcome to the show, Kaitlin. You are going to play the Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. Your job, fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks. Do that, you'll be a winner. Ready to play?

MARTINEZ: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Sometimes links to the subjects are rocky, like Magellan skates well though he's stocky. You'll need more than luck like skilled with a puck, this school centers all classes on...

MARTINEZ: Hockey.

SAGAL: Yes, hockey.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Hockey is a Canadian tradition like politeness or smoking crack.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And now Cole Harbor High School is moving to an all-hockey curriculum - hockey history, hockey physics, hockey glee club. Here's an example of hockey math. I just hit you four times in the head with my stick. Now how many teeth do you have left?

(LAUGHTER)

KEN JENNINGS: Hold on, carry the one...

(LAUGHTER)

AMY DICKINSON: Ken's doing it. Ken's calculating.

SAGAL: Ken's working on it.

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: All right. Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: With this pet I am never alone, I can find and then blow up a bone. The small unmanned plane arrives potty trained. As a pet I have got my own...

MARTINEZ: Drone.

SAGAL: Drone, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: Very, very good.

SAGAL: Great news for both lovers of pets and government surveillance, the company Falkor Systems has developed a, quote, "pet drone" that follows you around much like a puppy does. It tracks your movements and films you at a safe distance also like a puppy does.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Developers say these pet drones will be perfect for extreme athletes who can use them to film, you know, base jumps, free falls, extreme skiing. But you'll need another drone to follow around the pet drone with little plastic baggies to pick up its pile of batteries.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Though I load up the charcoal with skill, the bacteria I cannot kill. So it's like cooking meat on a hot toilet seat, there are billions of germs on my...

MARTINEZ: Fill?

SAGAL: Fill? Not fill.

(LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT JR.: Oh, I'm not Phil. Oh, yeah (unintelligible)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, let's hear this one again. I think you will get it.

KURTIS: Though I load up the charcoal with skill, the bacteria I cannot...

MARTINEZ: Oh, grill.

SAGAL: Yes, grill.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Want a side of cholera with your bratwurst? According to British researchers, the average barbecue grill has more than twice as many germs as a toilet seat. This is because people clean their toilets but not their grills. And, you know what it's like, guys, you got a grease fire. You don't have any water with you, there's nobody around...

(SOUNDBITE OF DISGUST)

DICKINSON: Oh, no.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Kaitlin do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She's a material girl in a material world. She got them all right.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing, Kaitlin.

MARTINEZ: Thank you so much.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

MARTINEZ: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

Copyright © 2013 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
Support comes from: