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Limericks

Bill reads three news-related limericks: Affluent Effluent, Blockhead, Division of Labor.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924, or click the contact us link on our website. That's waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show at Tanglewood in Massachusetts at August 29th. Also check out the latest How to Do Everything podcast. This week Ian and Mike show you how to win a faceoff in the NHL using only your wits and your tongue. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

ANN NEWGARD-LARSON: Hi. This is Ann Newgard-Larson from Detroit Lakes, Minnesota.

SAGAL: From Minnesota. That sounds like a very Minnesotan name to me.

NEWGARD-LARSON: Oh, it is.

SAGAL: I can find myself slipping into my awful fake Minnesotan accent even as I talk to you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So what do you do there?

NEWGARD-LARSON: I'm a pastor.

SAGAL: Oh, that's nice.

(LAUGHTER)

FAITH SALIE: Ann, are you really a pastor?

NEWGARD-LARSON: Yes, I really am a pastor.

SALIE: Do you ever curse?

NEWGARD-LARSON: Yes, when we hit the intersection of 494 and 694 my (unintelligible)...

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to our show, Ann. It is a pleasure to have you. Bill Kurtis is now going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to go?

NEWGARD-LARSON: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Our drink's aimed at a millionaire's daughter. Drink it chilled when the weather gets hotter. It's a shame at this price to dilute it with ice, we're selling some real high-end...

NEWGARD-LARSON: Water.

SAGAL: Yes, water.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Nestle has just come out with premium water. It's like water but it's more expensive. And compared with regular water, it's got way more of the word premium on the label.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's marketed to, quote, "a woman who is a little more on the trendy side and higher income side," unquote, and who is a lot on the stupid side.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Nestle says it's way clearer than low-end vulgar water and twice as wet.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Not too long ago, Legos looked glad, but now they're all bad-ass and rad. They look ready to fight and cause parents some fright, all the faces on Legos look...

NEWGARD-LARSON: Mad.

SAGAL: Yes, they do.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: And, yes, they do.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to The Guardian newspaper in Britain the faces on little Lego guys have been getting angrier and sadder in the last two decades. Parents worry what it'll do to children but think about it from the Lego guy's perspective. Wouldn't you be made if every day you came home and somebody had reassembled your house into something else?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And a lot of people kept stepping on you and swearing, or if your knees wouldn't ever bend.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: For young fathers-to-be, this is slick, it's a belt that's tuned into your chick. The gadget reveals all the motion she feels and you can also feel the kid...

NEWGARD-LARSON: Kick.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed, kick.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good, Ann.

NEWGARD-LARSON: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Guys, have you ever looked at a pregnant woman and thought, I wish I could go through that? No? Huggies has developed a pair of belts that translate a baby's movements and kicks from the mother to the father, allowing him to experience what it's like to have a human being kicking you from the inside out.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Huggies also developed a labor simulator, but so far no man has ever survived it.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Ann do in our quiz?

KURTIS: Praise the Lord, she got all three right.

SAGAL: Oh, yes indeed.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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