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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a three-way tie, Peter. Brian, Roxanne and Bobcat all have three points each.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. Brian, randomly we've decided you're going to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Saying it is unconstitutional, a judge in New York struck down Mayor Bloomberg's plan to ban large blank.

BRIAN BABYLON: Soda drinks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The mystery illness that has sickened more than 400 people in 15 states was linked to bagged blank this week.

BABYLON: Lettuce.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of its nuclear program, the House passed a bill Wednesday tightening sanctions against blank.

BABYLON: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: College students and parents breathed a sigh of relief this week as Congress finally approved a plan on blank.

BABYLON: Student loans.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Chinese man was caught when he attempted to sneak his pet turtle past airport security by blanking.

BABYLON: Drinking.

SAGAL: By hiding it in a hamburger.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Russian internet users expressed skepticism after government news agencies released photos of blank posing with the giant fish he caught.

BABYLON: Putin.

SAGAL: Of course.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ABC News reported that the issue of blank magazine with the Boston bomber on the cover sold double what the average issue does.

BABYLON: Rolling Stone.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: India's military learned two Chinese spy drones...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...they'd been monitoring in their airspace for six months were actually blank.

BABYLON: Were actually Indian spy drones.

SAGAL: No. Were actually the planets Jupiter and Venus.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Indian officials are very relieved, primarily because now they can concentrate on a more serious matter: The huge menacing fireball that India's enemies have been launching at it every single morning. Carl, how did Brian do in our quiz?

KASELL: Brian had six correct answers for 12 more points. He now has 15 points and he has the lead.

SAGAL: Well done. Nice round, Brian.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Bobcat Goldthwait, you're up next, fill in the blank.

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Is it - do I really have to go?

SAGAL: Yes, pretty much.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: There's no way I'm going to get 12.

SAGAL: Well, we enjoy watching you squirm.

GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah, I know. All right, all right.

SAGAL: Fill in the blank, Bobcat. After her profanity laced rant against a former intern was published, the spokeswoman for New York mayoral candidate blank apologized.

GOLDTHWAIT: Weiner?

SAGAL: Anthony Weiner, that's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because he wasn't required to take sexual harassment training, the embattled mayor of blank says the city should pay his legal bills.

GOLDTHWAIT: Oh, San Diego.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After photographs of the new royal baby appeared, the blank that the baby was wearing immediately sold out of stores.

GOLDTHWAIT: Oh, (unintelligible) grin?

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: The onesie. The onesie?

SAGAL: The blanket he was wearing.

GOLDTHWAIT: Oh.

SAGAL: "American Idol" judge blank announced Wednesday that he and his friend's wife are expecting a baby.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: Wow. I don't know that show anymore.

SAGAL: It's - should I just tell you it's Simon Cowell.

BABYLON: Former judge.

SAGAL: Former judge, true.

GOLDTHWAIT: Oh.

SAGAL: The airline EasyJet apologized after sending out an alert telling passengers their flight was blank.

GOLDTHWAIT: Hijacked?

SAGAL: No. Delayed for 86 years.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Passengers received an email saying, "We are writing to inform you that your flight will depart at 11:00 a.m. local time on July 29, 2099." Passengers were naturally frustrated by the change. Many said they'd just stay at the gate, because with the security lines and traffic, if they tried to go home they'd just have to turn right around and come back. Carl, how did Bobcat do on our quiz?

GOLDTHWAIT: Really well.

SAGAL: Oh, yeah.

GOLDTHWAIT: Really well.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Really, really well.

(APPLAUSE)

KASELL: Well, Bobcat had two correct answers for four more points. He now has seven points, but Brian still has the lead with 15.

SAGAL: All right. How many then...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many then does Roxanne need to win?

KASELL: Six to tie, seven to win outright.

SAGAL: Here we go, Roxanne, this is for the game, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, President Obama revealed what he's described as a grand bargain to create middle class blank.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Corporate tax cut deal.

SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you because we said jobs, but that's all right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A new government report says that misconduct by blank agents, such as stealing from suitcases and sleeping on the job, is up 26 percent.

ROBERTS: TSA.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After pleading guilty, the man who kidnapped three women in blank was sentenced to life plus 1,000 years.

ROBERTS: The three women in Cleveland.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Italy's highest court upheld former prime minister blank's conviction for tax fraud.

ROBERTS: Berlusconi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Tourists in France are being warned to be careful after a woman and her poodle were attacked by a blank.

ROBERTS: American tourist.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Gang of cats. On Thursday, the Senate confirmed Samantha Power to replace Susan Rice as the next blank.

ROBERTS: U.N. Ambassador.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: French authorities increased border security in an attempt to find a robber who stole $136 million in blank from a hotel on the French Riviera.

ROBERTS: In diamonds.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Saying it was delinquent in paying its bills...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ... an electric company in New Zealand sent a threatening letter to blank.

ROBERTS: To the government.

SAGAL: To a lamp post.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The letter demanded that the lamp post call Meredian Energy within seven days and provide them with its customer details, or its electricity would be shut off.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And when the neighbor who accidentally got the lamp post's mail called to explain the situation, the company refused to budge. Meredian Energy finally apologized and said it will not harass the lamp post again, but also said that it doesn't mean the deadbeat traffic light on 6th street is off the hook.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Roxanne do well enough to win? I bet she hopes she did.

KASELL: She did well enough to tie. She had six correct answers. So with 12 points, Roxanne Roberts and Brian Babylon are tied for first place.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done. It counts, it counts. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists what Yankees star Alex Rodriguez will do after baseball.

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