Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Swiffer for men; magic bus; you call your mom with that phone?

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CARL KASELL: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, WaitWait.NPR.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Illinois, and check out our latest How To Do Everything podcast. This week, in honor of the finale of "Breaking Bad," Mike and Ian tell you how to make meth.

(LAUGHTER)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

SAM FORREST: Hi, I'm Sam Forrest and I'm from Bozeman, Montana.

SAGAL: Hey, Sam, how are you?

FORREST: I'm great. I'm awesome.

SAGAL: I'm glad to hear it. And Bozeman - you must be an outdoorsman if you're living in Bozeman, right?

FORREST: Yeah. I'm a Nordic skier and an ultramarathoner.

SAGAL: You're an ultramarathoner. So, how's - I mean, because I run marathons but ultras seem crazy to me. So, how long is your longest race?

FORREST: Fifty miles.

SAGAL: Fifty miles? That's just nuts.

BRIAN BABYLON: Of running?

SAGAL: Of running.

FORREST: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

TOM BODETT: I mean, I would have to stop to use the restroom if I drove that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Sam. Carl Kasell is now going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to play?

FORREST: Oh, I'm so ready.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, OK. Here is your first limerick.

KASELL: I'm 46. Ear hair is blooming. You'd think waxing and plucking was looming. It's no use dropping hints. I don't even brush lint. At my age I've given up...

FORREST: Grooming.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to a new British study, the age at which men give up trying to look good is age 46. We now know. This brings to light an interesting fact: men try to look good before age 46.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: I think that's about the age that men realize that you can grow a hair as hard as a wire out of your ear in a single day.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: I also heard a study where they say men stop buying clothes at, like, 46 to 50 years old. Like, whatever pair of pants and shirt that you have, that is it. That's it. You're not going to buy anything. So, whatever the style is now, please know you're going to die like that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: With our consciousness we used to tamper, then out to the desert we'd scamper. Our square, boxy van was real groovy, man. We had fun in our Volkswagen...

FORREST: Camper?

SAGAL: Yes. The Volkswagen Camper.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Volkswagen announced they will finally stop making the iconic Volkswagen minibus this December. They have been manufactured in Brazil all these years. People have a lot of happy memories from driving those things around and even happier times they don't remember.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, it's going to heaven, where it's being welcomed with open arms by all the hippie angels.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: The new iPhone's screen isn't shoddy. Forgive me if I'm a bit naughty. I turn off the ringer, but not with my finger. This phone reads all parts of the...

FORREST: Body?

SAGAL: Yes, indeed - body.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The big innovation of the new iPhone - the iPhone 5S - is its fancy fingerprint sensor. Turns out that that sensor recognizes a lot more than your finger. People have successfully unlocked the phone with their toes, their elbows, the paw of a cat still connected to the cat, even their iJunk, if you will.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is good to know in the event that you lose both your arms and need to call an ambulance or if you want to get arrested while riding public transportation.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Boy, these things have been out, what, a day and a half?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Sam do in our quiz?

KASELL: Sam, you have three correct answers, so I'll be doing the message on your voicemail or answering machine.

SAGAL: Well done. Yay.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing, Sam.

FORREST: Thank you.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!