Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: The Bris Wig, Broke-Bug Mountain.

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CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT, WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Roxanne Roberts, and Peter Grosz. And here again is your host at the Music Hall in Cincinnati, Ohio, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you so much, Carl. Thank you all. In just a minute, Carl gets a big steaming bowl of Cincinnati Skyrhyme Chili in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, a gang of men dressed as clowns took out a notorious drug cartel leader in Tijuana this week.

PETER GROSZ: I remember, I was there.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well one group in particular is criticizing this act. Who?

GROSZ: Real clowns?

SAGAL: Yes, real clowns. They're very upset with this.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: When the attack happened, Mexico City was hosting the 17th International Clown Convention, and it's a very important convention for clowns. It has sessions with titles like Fears of a Clown.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And Investing in Another Car: Maybe It's Time.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They gathered to denounce the attack and deny that actual clowns had been involved. The main thing this story teaches us is that amazingly, murderers dressed as clowns still not as creepy as actual clowns.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: What a horrible convention to host in your city. The cities are like, oh we want...

SAGAL: They compete for conventions?

GROSZ: Yeah, they compete for conventions and they're like - the mayor comes back and he's like, I have good news and I have bad news.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: We got a convention but it's the clown convention.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Do you think...

SAGAL: I did not know the mayor of Mexico City was Jewish, Peter. Thank you very much.

GROSZ: Yeah, he is.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Peter, it's still only been done in a lab but a joint team of scientists from the U.S. and the U.K. has discovered a cure for what scourge of mankind?

GROSZ: Kim Kardashian?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint.

GROSZ: Yep.

SAGAL: Well, this isn't just a hint, it's also a client.

GROSZ: Baldness?

SAGAL: Yes, indeed, baldness.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: Wow.

SAGAL: The scientists...

GROSZ: All female scientists?

SAGAL: Actually it was led by a female scientist in fact.

GROSZ: Oh, OK.

SAGAL: The scientist cloned hair follicle cells and then grafted them onto the back of a mouse where they successfully grew. This provides hope for bald humans who are tired of wearing ball caps or getting hair grafts or seeking out careers in public radio.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There is a catch. Now the hair follicles, they were transplanting onto the mice needed human cells to grow from. So the scientists used - and this is true - discarded foreskins from circumcisions.

(SOUNDBITE OF DISGUST)

GROSZ: Wait a minute. Who discards the foreskin from a circumcision?

ROBERTS: I hope the Rabbi.

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: Women do not dislike bald men.

ROBERTS: I was about to say that. I think this is a preoccupation that men have that women do not share to the same degree.

ROCCA: Telly Savalas was a chic magnet. Isn't that - Kojak.

ROBERTS: He was pretty sexy.

ROCCA: Or Patrick Stewart.

ROBERTS: Or Yule Brenner.

ROCCA: Yule Brenner.

ROBERTS: Yes, yes. I mean...

GROSZ: Yeah, I mean, that is what, that's three - that's three.

SAGAL: That's three guys.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Wait, wait.

GROSZ: That's three whole guys.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: But really, if they cure baldness what is going to happen to the compensation industry, sports cars, motorcycles?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Yeah, it's like, would you like to buy this Ferrari? No thanks. I have foreskin and a mouse on my head. I'm fine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Mo.

ROCCA: Yes.

SAGAL: Mo, there are gay humans, there are gay penguins we now know and it turns out there are billions of gay insects. A lot of insects attempt to mate with other insects of the same sex. New research out this week suggests that in the insect world, these gay relationships are the result of what?

ROCCA: Is it the music? Is it the...

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: No. What is it - it's...

SAGAL: Get carried away.

ROCCA: ...maybe it's butterflies. Is it - I'm just - so what is in nature that makes insects go gay?

GROSZ: Insect show tunes.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Jiminy Cricket (unintelligible) was a gay insect.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: So can you give me a clue about gay insects?

SAGAL: Well, if (unintelligible) I assume Chris was short for Christine. I'm sorry.

ROCCA: Oh, they don't realize insects can't tell gender. They're not good...

SAGAL: Right. It's by accident.

ROCCA: It's by accident.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It's all accidental unlike...

ROCCA: That's what they say, right.

SAGAL: ...yeah, well...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Unlike your crazy night in Bangkok, when male bugs hook up it really is an accident.

ROCCA: OK. So they were just experimenting.

SAGAL: They're experimenting.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Insects and also spiders are in such a rush to mate in their short little lives, they don't, you know, take the time to get to know each other first, like what's your name, what movies do you like, do you also have a penis?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the study, 85% of insects engage in same sex encounters, rivaling even Sophomores at Wellesley.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: So after the bugs of the same gender go at it and then, like, they're like, oh they're so - you said they have to do it so fast and they're in a rush to mate. And then right after it they're like, oh, OK. And you're also - so yeah, OK. We'll just - so this didn't happen. We're good.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: This is - yeah, don't tell anybody, I won't tell anybody, we're good, yeah.

ROBERTS: Awkward, awkward, awkward.

SAGAL: Yeah, this is - I saw a great movie about it. It's called Broke Back Garbage (unintelligible) and...

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I can quit you.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: No. it would be Broke Back Anthill.

GROSZ: Yeah.

SAGAL: But you have to think, like, we're already thinking about, like, bug sex lives. How do they flirt?

GROSZ: We're going to die tomorrow.

SAGAL: No, really we are.

GROSZ: Yeah, we're going to die tomorrow so I don't care what you got going on.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!