Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: Staying Abreast of Important Studies, Coff-E.

Copyright © 2013 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT, WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Faith Salie, Paula Poundstone and Tom Bodett. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl. Thank you so much. In just a minute, Carl tries to sign up for limerick coverage on rhyme-care.gov. It's the listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, this was a big week for scientific breakthroughs. A team of researchers at the University of Nebraska proved this week that men like to do what?

(LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Have sex.

SAGAL: Yes, but that's not what this research proved.

POUNDSTONE: Every research proves that.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I read recently that men think about sex every 13 minutes.

TOM BODETT: I think it's 13 seconds.

KASELL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I don't know how you guys get anything done.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Always having to stop like that.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Give me a hint, would you?

SAGAL: Hey, my research results are up here.

POUNDSTONE: Ah.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: OK, wait. I don't think I understood the last hint. My research results are up here, is that what you said?

SAGAL: Yeah, that's what I said. You never heard that expression, hey my face is up here. My eyes are up here. You ever heard that? Never.

POUNDSTONE: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHER)

POUNDSTONE: No. Why would anyone say that? I know where your face is.

FAITH SALIE: You would say that if someone were looking at you but not at your face.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, men like to make you look at their face?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: That's ridiculous.

BODETT: You know, I'm going to...

SAGAL: No, no, no, no. We're going to work this problem if it takes the rest of this hour.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Have I not been looking at your face enough?

SAGAL: No, you have been, Paula. This is something, that phrase that I invoked in my hint...

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Hey, my eyes are up here...

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...is something a woman might say to a man if he was looking at her...

POUNDSTONE: ...at her breasts?

SAGAL: Yes, Paula.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The study proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that men like to stare at women's chests.

POUNDSTONE: Well, who would do that study?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The University of Nebraska.

POUNDSTONE: That's ridiculous.

BODETT: You didn't seem to know it.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: No. I knew it. I knew it so much that it was such an oh, duh that - it was university - what is their football team's name? Like the...

SAGAL: The Cornhuskers.

POUNDSTONE: ...the fighting - you know, the fighting we already knew that? What...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's what they wanted to do.

POUNDSTONE: The Cornhuskers. That's a ridiculous name for a team.

SAGAL: They wanted...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: And people who support the Cornhuskers, don't you go calling up complaining, because we're not having one of you call up next week and make fun of us.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: That's a bad policy to invoke by the way.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If I may explain, Paula. The good scientists at the University of Nebraska wanted to understand how men and women react to the visual stimuli of female bodies. So the first thing they did is they hooked up these men and they recorded where the men's eyes were looking and for how long as they showed them pictures of women. And the men sat there and said to themselves, why can't all science be like this? And surprisingly the study found me spend significantly more time looking at women's boobogenous zones, and their hips, than they do at their eyes, right. OK. This we knew.

What was more surprising is that the study was conducted on women as well and had the same results.

POUNDSTONE: What, that women looked at breasts?

SAGAL: Yeah, women are checking out other women's breasts and hips...

POUNDSTONE: Oh, my god.

SAGAL: ...just like men do. This is an observation that all the male scientists agreed is totally hot.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Now, wait - you know what? Why aren't I extinct? I don't understand.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I don't follow the pattern of any other human being that I - I have never once looked at another woman's breasts. And frankly, I've never had to say to a man, I'm up here.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I think if you said to a man, I'm up here, he'd be puzzled, but that's another question.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh what, my eyes are up here, is that what you say?

SAGAL: Yeah, you're eyes are up there, yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh well, I have had to say that.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Just never had to say, I'm up here...

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: ...you know, unless I was.

SAGAL: Unless you were stuck at the top of a ladder or in a loft of some kind.

POUNDSTONE: Exactly. Precisely.

SAGAL: And they were looking for you.

POUNDSTONE: In a tree for example.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you climbed - you couldn't get down.

POUNDSTONE: Happened once when I was a kid.

SAGAL: And they were looking for you.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, got way up on a sapling and...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...it was, like, wiggly up there and I was scared to death.

SAGAL: And they were concerned.

POUNDSTONE: Had to get Mr. O'Donnell to come get me down. I remember saying, I'm up here.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: It's a rough neighborhood.

SAGAL: It was.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Faith, as you know, on this show we like to keep everybody apprised of the march toward the robot rebellion and their ultimate deaths at their mechanical hands. Well, this week's news, engineers have created a robot that can take the place of what human?

SALIE: This robot will take the place of a specific human.

SAGAL: Or a specific kind of human, not like a name but...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A role that humans play.

SALIE: Can I have a hint, please?

SAGAL: Yeah, your Frappuccino is ready.

SALIE: Oh no.

SAGAL: Yes.

SALIE: I hope these robot baristas are going to have goatees.

SAGAL: They will, I hope. It is, in fact, the robot baristas are here. A coffee house in Texas is the first to use the Coffee Haus Kiosk, a robot that will make you all kinds of coffee drinks you can then spill on its cousin, your laptop computer.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: They've reinvented the coffee machine. Isn't this grand?

SAGAL: Well, they have in a way but, you know...

SALIE: ...except with tattoos.

BODETT: Right.

SAGAL: It's amazing, we have robot surgeons, we have robot manufacture machines. Now there's finally a job for robots who are dumb enough to major in English.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: My eyes are up here.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

Copyright © 2013 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!