Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round One

Subway Squats.

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Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Mo, the Winter Olympic Games are coming to Russia, and in an attempt to get its citizens in better shape, Russian subway rides can now be purchased with what?

KAREN LAZAR: To get them better in shape? Russian subway rides can now be purchased - I mean they can't be purchased because they want people walking.

SAGAL: No, you can still go on the subway.

MO ROCCA: Subway, but you have...

SAGAL: But in certain places you don't have to use money, you can do something else.

ROCCA: You have to exercise.

SAGAL: Yes, you have to exercise to use the subway.


SAGAL: Specifically, if you do squats, right.

ROY BLOUNT, JR.: Squats?

SAGAL: When the world comes to visit them for the Winter Olympics in just a few months, Russia doesn't want to look like a bunch of fat homophobes.


ROCCA: They want to look like trim, studly homophobes.

SAGAL: Right, they want to look like trim, fit homophobes.


SAGAL: Either spend 30 rubles to get on the train, that's the usual fare, or do 30 squats in front of a special machine with a camera and a computer that secretly thinks you're disgusting.


SAGAL: Since implementing the program, Russia has already seen a two percent decrease in average BMI, and a 100 percent increase in guys showing up to work having just split their pants.


SAGAL: I don't know if this is going to work because the subway is really one place you do not want to see anybody squatting.

JR.: No.

ROCCA: No, I know. I actually love squats. I think that like I've oftentimes thought if I was trapped in a place where I could only do one exercise - no, I've thought about this. Like if you could only do one movement or exercise, I would do squats because it's all that core strength. It's all about engaging your gluts and lifting from there.



ROCCA: But it's the one thing I do. I never know why I would be forced to only do one exercise.


ROCCA: What is the scenario where somebody is saying to me only do one exercise?

DICKINSON: It involves a phone booth and you, obviously.

ROCCA: It's - and I'd hold a coconut, and I'd squat.


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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!