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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will has 60 seconds now to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tied for first place. Roy Blount, Jr. has three points, Amy Dickinson has three points.

AMY DICKINSON: What?

KASELL: And Mo Rocca has two.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. So Mo, you are in third place. Mo, you will go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, ships with International aid for the victims of the typhoon in the blanks finally began arriving.

MO ROCCA: Philippines.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a U.N. report released this week, blank has virtually stopped its nuclear expansion since its new president took office.

ROCCA: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a judge sentenced notorious Boston gangster blank to two consecutive life sentences plus five years.

ROCCA: Whitey Bulger.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week the Department of Justice okayed the merger between US Airways and blank.

ROCCA: American Airlines.

SAGAL: Right. Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Georgia police suspected a woman they were arresting might be drunk when she blanked.

ROCCA: Threw up on them.

SAGAL: No. When she attempted to put a cheeseburger on her food as if it were a sandal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Not satisfied with ABC's apologies, this week the government of China demanded that ABC take action for a joke made on blank's late night show.

ROCCA: Jimmy Kimmel.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a rescue dog named Rupee became the first dog ever to climb blank.

ROCCA: Oh, Mount Everest.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A shoplifter in England...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...was forced to give up his stolen merchandise when he was chased down by a blank.

ROCCA: By a - oh boy, by a hare, a rabbit.

SAGAL: No. He was chased down by a marathon runner.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The thief took off with the goods but didn't realize the man chasing him was one Chris Read, runner of 101 marathons. Read ran alongside the shoplifter and said, quote "we can do this all day."

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Fantastic.

SAGAL: You got to love that. Realizing he absolutely could not do that all day, the thief quickly handed over his loot and gave up a life of crime for a life of dry-heaving.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Mo do on our quiz?

KASELL: Mo had six correct answers for 12 more points. He now has 14 points and Mo has taken the lead.

SAGAL: That was very strong. It was very good.

ROCCA: Wow, that was good.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Roy has elected to go next so, Roy, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Hawaii's governor signed a bill making it the 15th state to legalize blank.

ROY BLOUNT, JR.: Gay marriage.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The two Secret Service supervisors who were on protective detail for blank were suspended for misconduct this week.

JR.: For Obama.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Wall Street Journal reported this week that the photo messaging service SnapChat turned down a three billion dollar acquisition offer from blank.

JR.: Yahoo?

SAGAL: No, Facebook.

JR.: Facebook.

SAGAL: Walmart, Kmart and Target are among the stores that announced that this year they will be starting their Black Friday sales on blank.

JR.: Thursday.

SAGAL: Right, Thanksgiving.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Florida Man was arrested for calling 911 to report blank.

JR.: Four-hundred different things like that happen in every county in Florida every day.

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

JR.: He called 911 to report that he had just realized that he lived in Florida...

(LAUGHTER)

JR.: ...and he was scared to death.

SAGAL: No. He called 911 to report that his no-good neighbors wouldn't wish him happy birthday.

(SOUNDBITE OF DISAPPOINTMENT)

SAGAL: A Canadian actress was sentenced to six months in jail on Thursday for stalking actor blank.

JR.: Oh, Alec Baldwin.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Events at the closing night of the Andy Kaufman Award contest Monday have led to speculation that Andy Kaufman is blank.

JR.: Alive.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After neighbors in Sweden...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...reported screaming, loud banging, and crying in the apartment next door, cops arrived on the scene and discovered blank.

JR.: They were throwing pancakes at each other (unintelligible)...

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Police discovered a couple trying to assemble IKEA furniture.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

ROCCA: Oh, it's a great story. It's a great story.

SAGAL: The young couple was trying in vain to assemble some furniture, and the angry screaming and loud banging that is required to do so alerted the neighbors. From what they heard, bystanders guessed they had purchased the classic IKEA DieDieDie bookshelves. Carl, how did Roy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Roy has five correct answers for 10 more points. He now has 17 points and Roy has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right. Very strong performances so far. So how many then does Amy need to win?

KASELL: Five to tie and six to win outright.

SAGAL: Amy, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, events in honor of blank were held across the country.

DICKINSON: Veterans Day.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: CBS announced Wednesday that it is conducting a journalistic review into the false report on Benghazi aired by blank.

DICKINSON: "60 Minutes."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An exhibition of Titanic artifacts in Atlanta was temporarily closed this week due to blank.

DICKINSON: They sank without a trace.

SAGAL: It was closed due to water damage.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In an event held last Saturday night Miss Venezuela was crowned the new blank.

DICKINSON: Miss Universe.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week the movie "This is the End" became the last movie ever rented by former retailer blank.

DICKINSON: Blockbuster.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A pair of would-be burglars in L.A....

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...realized they'd made a terrible mistake when they broke into a house belonging to blank.

DICKINSON: In L.A., Jean-Claude Van Damme.

SAGAL: No. They broke into a house belonging to a professional ax thrower.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Mistake number one for the burglars, breaking into a professional ax thrower's house. Mistake number two, trying to steal the professional axe thrower's watch that she was wearing while she slept. Robin Irvine woke up and immediately went for her bedside axe. She took off after the screaming burglars thinking one thought, finally.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Amy do well enough to win?

KASELL: She needed five to tie, but she had four correct answers. So with 17 points, Roy Blount, Jr. is this week's champion.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the first thing delivered by the post office on a Sunday? But first let me tell you...

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