Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Copyright © 2013 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Well, Brian Babylon and Charlie Pierce are tied for first. They both have three points. Faith Salie has two.

SAGAL: All right. Faith, you're in last place but knowing you, that won't last for long. You're up first. So the clock will start when I begin your first question. Hundreds of people were displaced after as many as 80 blanks swept through the Midwest last Sunday.

FAITH SALIE: Tornadoes.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Although the U.S. reached a security deal with blank this week, President Hamid Karzai wants to defer signing it.

SALIE: Afghanistan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Just a week before Thanksgiving, Butterball announced that there is a shortage of large fresh blanks.

SALIE: Turkeys.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thanks to building code regulations, Sweden's Ice Hotel, made entirely of Ice, had to install blank.

SALIE: Heaters.

SAGAL: No, fire alarms.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In a rare appearance, former president blank appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno to show off his paintings.

SALIE: George W. Bush.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Walmart came under fire this week after it held a food drive for needy employees of blank.

SALIE: Walmart?

SAGAL: Yes, Walmart.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new internet service is helping employees leave early by blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SALIE: By taking over their jobs.

SAGAL: No. The employees activate this website that makes their computer look like you can't work because it has a virus.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's called the Happy Hour virus. You can Google it, go to the website and it looks like a worm is destroying your computer so you can say to your boss, well I can't work like this and make it to the bar in time for the breakfast special. Now, it's a little dishonest but it's an improvement over the old method which was actually destroying your computer by either spilling soup on it or creating a national health care program.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, Faith had five correct answers for ten more points. She now has twelve points and Faith has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: OK. We've flipped a coin and Brian has elected to go next. Brian, fill in the blank. On Friday, a ceremony was held in Dallas's Dealey Plaza to mark the 50th anniversary of blank.

BRIAN BABYLON: JFK assassination.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Although its Supreme Leader warned his country not to give up its nuclear rights, world leaders continued negotiations with blank this week.

BABYLON: Iran?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A New Hampshire fugitive was caught after he blanked his own Wanted Poster.

BABYLON: He forged his own Wanted Poster.

SAGAL: No, he commented on it on Facebook.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Best known for her book The Golden Notebook, Nobel-award-winning author blank died last Sunday at age 94.

BABYLON: Really?

SAGAL: Yeah, really.

BABYLON: Like really I would know that?

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: I don't know.

SAGAL: Doris Lessing. Adam Levine said this week that he thought it was flattering and hilarious that he'd been named People Magazine's blank.

BABYLON: Sexiest man alive?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Detroit man has gotten back at his ex wife for cheating on him by blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: By remarrying her.

SAGAL: No, he did not.

(LAUGHTER)

CHARLIE PIERCE: Can I say this one?

SAGAL: Yes, Charlie, I've going to give you the chance.

PIERCE: This was my favorite story of the week. He erected it in his yard a metal statute of a large middle finger and aimed it at her house. And not only did that, but a spotlight on it so it would shine at night.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That's exactly right except, Charlie, it wasn't his house that he did this in. He bought the house next to hers...

PIERCE: Right.

SAGAL: ...expressly for this purpose.

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: It's the spotlight that makes it art, by the way.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But in interviews with reporters, Mr. Alan Markovitz emphasized that he never meant for the matter to become public. Besides, he says, quote, "I'm so over her."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Brian do on our quiz?

KASELL: Brian had three correct answers for six more points. He now has nine points but Faith still has the lead with 12 points.

SAGAL: All right. So how many then, Carl...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...does Charlie need to win?

KASELL: Five correct answers.

SAGAL: He needs five correct answers. All right, Charlie. This is for the game, here we go. On Wednesday, Governor Pat Quinn signed legislation making Illinois the 16th state to legalize blank.

PIERCE: Marriage equality - gay marriage.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton were among the 16 people awarded the Presidential blank on Wednesday.

PIERCE: Medal of Freedom.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For its role in the mortgage crisis, blank agreed to a 13 billion dollar settlement this week.

PIERCE: JP Morgan Chase.

SAGAL: Exactly Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week an Italian court released documents revealing salacious details about blank's bunga bunga parties.

PIERCE: Oh, it's got to be Sir Leo Berlusconi.

SAGAL: It is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Texas man is recovering after mistaking a blank for one of those lighters that looks like a gun.

PIERCE: A gun.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: James McBride's "The Good Lord Bird" was awarded the blank for fiction on Wednesday.

PIERCE: The National Book Award.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday the five surviving members of the British comedy group blank announced that they would be reuniting for live shows.

PIERCE: Monty Python.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

SAGAL: Five weeks after going to Munich for Oktoberfest, an Italian man finally blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

PIERCE: Threw up.

SAGAL: No. Five weeks after he went to Oktoberfest, he remembered where he parked his car.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Andrea O. parked his Volkswagen on a side street. Five weeks later he finally found it, but oddly he still needs a couple more weeks till he's sober enough to drive.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, I think Charlie did very well. Did he do well enough to win?

KASELL: He had seven correct answers for 14 more points, so with 17 points Charlie Pierce is this week's champion.

SAGAL: Very well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The fighting Irish indeed, Charlie.

PIERCE: Indeed.

SAGAL: In just a minute, now that the new Xbox One and Playstation Four are finally out, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what the surprise hit game is going to be. But first let me tell you...

Copyright © 2013 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!