No Treat: Annoying Halloween Music

Annoying Music Show host Jim Nayder has some Halloween offerings that few would consider treats. On his list: A horrid version of "Harvest Moon," Geese doing the Stones and a rock n' roll ditty about vomit.

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LINDA WERTHEIMER, host:

The leaves are turning, there's a chill in the air, and children are preparing for this coming Monday: Halloween, the scariest day in the calendar. Halloween is frightening enough without having Jim Nayder and his boom box hiding in the closet. Jim is the host of "The Annoying Music Show!," and he joins us with annoying Halloween music.

(Soundbite of music)

Unidentified Chorus: (Singing in unison) I ain't had no lovin' since January, February, June or July. Shine on...

WERTHEIMER: Jim, how are you?

Mr. JIM NAYDER (Host, "The Annoying Music Show!"): Linda, I feel like I just drank a bird flu slurpie.

WERTHEIMER: (Laughs) Who is slaughtering this version of "Harvest Moon" in the background?

Mr. NAYDER: Well, this to me is the most frightening vision. It's the Singing Sisters of Syracuse, the good nuns of Syracuse, and from a graduate of St. Adrian's School on the South Side, there's nothing more frightening than a nun with a ruler or a kazoo.

(Soundbite of kazoo music)

WERTHEIMER: So all right. Moving right along, Jim...

Mr. NAYDER: Yes.

WERTHEIMER: ...what is the next piece of frightful, annoying Halloween music you have for us?

Mr. NAYDER: Well, Halloween is like Christmas for "The Annoying Music Show!" because so many of our songs are not just annoying but actually quite frightening in their conception and execution. And speaking of execution we wondered how this first group escaped it after recording this Halloween carol.

(Soundbite of music)

THE SHAGGS: (Singing) It's Halloween. It's Halloween. It's time for scares. It's time for screams. It's Halloween. It's Halloween. The ghosts will spook; the spooks will scare. Why, even Dracula will be there. It's time for games, it's time for fun. Not for just one, but for everyone.

WERTHEIMER: Do you just--do you haunt kindergartens or something to get this stuff?

Mr. NAYDER: This actually was a group loved by adults. This is The Shaggs, three sisters--Helen, Betty and Dot Wiggins--from New Hampshire, and Frank Zappa said The Shaggs are better than The Beatles. And we agree, and it's just one of the many Halloween classics that dominate the radio these days.

WERTHEIMER: OK. Hit me again.

Mr. NAYDER: Well, I mentioned the bird flu earlier, and actually that's more frightening than anything you could imagine on Halloween or otherwise, but amazingly "The Annoying Music Show!" medical lab--and we have a medical lab--actually pinpointed where this horrible bird flu virus originated. It turns out it came from some hygiene-challenged geese in the Far East.

(Soundbite of music)

WERTHEIMER: (Laughs) I gotta say that this ranks right up there with the kittens that sing Christmas carols. I guess every Halloween has gotta have 'em.

Mr. NAYDER: Well, normally we don't play the animals too much, but the geese are so rare, and it's a good lesson for travelers--just when you're traveling wherever to stay away from honky-tonk whatever, whether geese or whatever. But let's bring it to sound.

(Soundbite of music)

WERTHEIMER: OK. Now I think I have to drag you back to the traditions of Halloween. Kids, candy corn...

Mr. NAYDER: Oh, I didn't realize we were off theme. Are we off theme?

WERTHEIMER: Pumpkins, think apple cider. Give us some Halloween stuff.

Mr. NAYDER: Well, what's Halloween but for the children, as you just put it, and let's be honest. It's the year's one chance for kids to collect a ton of free candy and eat as much of it as you can before you get home, which actually results in 95 percent of all kids dealing with this musical problem.

(Soundbite of music)

KRIKIE: (Singing) I've got to vomit. Gotta vomit on you. Do you want it--do you want it on you? I've got to vomit all over your face. I've gotta vomit all over the place. I've gotta vomit.

WERTHEIMER: Keyword being `vomit'? Did I hear that? I heard that much.

Mr. NAYDER: Yes. Yes, that's the classic "I'm Gonna Vomit (On You)" by Crikey. And honestly, I just wanted to play this song so that I could tell my great-grandchildren that I actually played "I'm Gonna Vomit (On You)" to the award-winning Linda Wertheimer of NPR. And now I can die happy.

WERTHEIMER: Now I--I--I--I--I hardly know what to say. I think that was a brilliant place to end, Jim, but I'm prepared to listen to one more song--if you want to give us one.

Mr. NAYDER: Well, you know, with the new "Harry Potter" film and those popular books, sorcerers, once again--our favorite Halloween costume--so we thought the classic "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" would be the perfect music to end with. Unfortunately, the only version we could find was by the Black & Decker orchestra.

(Soundbite of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice")

WERTHEIMER: Are we talking chain saws or...

Mr. NAYDER: Woodshop power tools orchestra under the direction of Woody Phillips...

WERTHEIMER: Of course, Woody Phillips.

Mr. NAYDER: ...using pipes, power drills, a drill press motor table saw, three two-by-fours, a hammer, handsaw and a broom.

WERTHEIMER: Well, Jim, I would like to say that it's been a pleasure.

(Soundbite of laughter)

WERTHEIMER: But I think our listeners would see through that, so let me just thank you for showing up.

Mr. NAYDER: Linda, I love you more than a frozen Charleston Chew.

WERTHEIMER: Oh, my God. Jim Nayder is the host of "The Annoying Music Show!," which is produced with the heartfelt apologies of WBEZ in Chicago.

(Soundbite of music)

WERTHEIMER: And this is WEEKEND EDITION.

(Credits)

WERTHEIMER: I'm Linda Wertheimer.

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