Seattle: Sensitive to Stereotypes on Super Sunday

The Seattle Seahawks are virtual strangers to the NFL playoffs. Now they're playing for the title. How will their fans handle the big game? Guy Nelson, news director at member station KUOW, has some tongue-in-cheek thoughts.

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LIANE HANSEN, host:

If stereotypes are to be believed, the typical football fan watches the Super Bowl with a fervor roughly equivalent to a barracuda devouring a minnow. But according to Seattle-ite Guy Nelson the typical Seahawks supporter may not match the image of the stereotypical football fanatic.

GUY NELSON reporting:

Myth number one. Incidents of domestic violence spike during the Super Bowl. Maybe it seems that guys get incredibly frustrated when their team's quarterback throws an interception, so much so that in the living room, fists and furniture fly and after the game the anger lingers for days. But the fact is, statistics don't back that up. In terms of domestic violence, Super Bowl Sunday is about as bad as any other day.

Sure, in Seattle there could be lots of male frustration if the Seahawks lose, but I'd expect a different outcome, a different sort of reaction. Seattle's sensitive men would head to the woods, gathering in circles to hug and cry. There would be drumming, probably some poetry. And if you're trying to reserve a retreat center, forget it. They'd be booked solid.

Myth number two. Plumbers work like madmen during the game. They rush from house to house, unplugging sinks and toilets strained by all the Super Bowl feasting and flushing. Also not true. Okay, maybe people take a lot of toilet breaks during halftime, but that's not nearly enough to plug up any city's modern sewer system. And plumbers may be on the job, but they're no busier than on any other day of big family gatherings.

In Seattle, I would guess the busy professionals are massage therapists. They dash from living room to living room, setting up their tables next to the sofa and lighting scented Seahawks candles. When they sense rising anxiety in your neck and shoulders, they can quietly work on those knotty muscles and you can focus on the play-by-play.

Myth number three. There is such a rush on salsa and chicken wings that on game day they're nearly impossible to find. Not at all true. Sure, snack food sales do go up prior to the big game, but not enough to cause serious shortages. Seattle men don't rush out to buy nibbles, but they do stock up on something else. Thank you cards. What better way to let your buddy know you had a great time at his Super Bowl party? Guys here will sit down and write out a short note on a tasteful card saying, Hey, it was so fun to reconnect with you and catch up on our relationships.

I'm ahead of the crowd and already have my thank-you cards, and I won't forget to compliment my host on his choice of paper plates and plastic dinnerware.

HANSEN: Guy Nelson is news director at member station KUOW in Seattle.

It's 22 minutes before the hour.

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