All over America, school kids can be seen stumbling around, their eyes watery, their mouths ringed with the atomic red powder from Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
I know, I know... you thought Flamin' Hot Cheetos was best known for Californication.
Nope, it's NPR's Luke Burbank's entry into the fast/bad food phenomenon that's hitting the schools. Luke sends this most serious warning exclusively to Mixed Signals readers:
"If you've got kids between age 5 and 15, you're probably already aware of a pernicious red menace that's sweeping the nation these days — Flamin' Hot Cheetos. That's right, the snacks, introduced in 1991 by Frito-Lay (which also makes Original Cheetos, the nation's best selling extruded cheese-flavored snack), have exploded in popularity over the last few years. All over America, school kids can be seen stumbling around in Cheeto-induced dazes. Their eyes watery, their mouths ringed with the atomic red powder that gives the Cheetos their zest."
Luke beat the House Committee on Un-American Activities to the punch. He visited an elementary school in Pasadena, Calif., where the principal has banned Hot Cheetos — though the students sneak them in anyway. Check out his report on NPR tonight.
One serious thought: If Flamin' Hot Cheetos were outlawed, then only outlaws will have Flamin' Hot Cheetos.