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Cooking with Twinkies

'The Twinkies Cookbook'

I'm wondering if this posting would be any different if I were doing blotter acid. Probably not.

But NPR's Allison Keyes just wandered by to show me the new book on — when you're cooking at home — how best to prepare Twinkies. I kid you not.

The full title is, The Twinkies Cookbook: An Inventive and Unexpected Recipe Collection from Hostess. No author is taking credit for the text, but you should know that the "food photography" is by Leo Gong. This book should be on The Gong Show.

It's one thing to eat Twinkies. People have long been doing that, especially when you run out of Fig Newtons. And I completely understand the lure. "Hostess Twinkies are just great ... by themselves!" gushes the text. "As dessert, as a treat in a lunch box, as a between-meal snack ..." I know that. Actually, when I had my first apartment, in Fort Lee, N.J., Twinkies were not only my between-meal snacks, they were often my meals.

But — I'm not making this up — Twinkie Sushi? (page 10: "It's nice to serve Twinkie Sushi at a dinner party on a Japanese tray or bento box with chopsticks," writes an obviously over-Twinkied Clare Crespo of Baton Rouge, La. Twinkie Burrito? (page 29: "One day while at my wife's Mexican restaurant," writes Peter Sheridan of Washington, D.C., "I tried wrapping the mixture in a tortilla so I could eat it with my hands. Even though my wife laughs at me, Twinkie burritos are delicious, and now all of her employees and I are hooked!"

Note to those reading this blog in the Washington, D.C. area: If you plan on going to Peter Sheridan's wife's Mexican restaurant, you might suggest a Twinkie margarita.