Ninja vs. Pirate.
History is rife with tales of great rivalries. The Hatfields vs. the McCoys. Abraham Lincoln vs. Stephen A. Douglas. Dogs vs. cats. And now our burgeoning cyberculture has provided us with yet another for this list, pirates vs. ninjas.
I tell you this in honor of today's release of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, which might better be titled Hottie of the Caribbean: Johnny Depp's Chest. You see, I believe this movie adds a new facet to the pirate vs. ninja debate (PvN for short which has engaged the Internet in a world wide war for at least a decade, maybe more (This site claims it's been tying the Web in knots since 1969 — before there was Web enough to tie a clove hitch). The question is this: who would win a deadly matched fight between pirates and ninjas?
Well, dear NPR blog readers, I pose this sensitive question to you. Before responding, you may want to peek at this fabulous live-action PvN battle (though I ask myself, is a strip-mall parking lot really the preferred battleground for these legendary fighters?). And also check out this concise list of the powers and characteristics of pirates and ninjas, making sure to avoid common misconceptions. I mean, come on people! Ninjas do not wear spandex and pirates do not breakdance! That would be silly! And finally, listen to this review of Pirates of the Caribbean by a ninja on All Things Considered.
For my part, I say any side that can claim Johnny Depp among its ranks has a certain cool, moody sexiness that can't be surpassed.