How Not to Apply for a Job
You're about to graduate from Yale. You want to be an investment banker. It is recommended not to put on your resume A.) a fake company to which you've appointed yourself CEO B.) a fake charity you claim to have founded or C.) a claim to have written a book, which you publish online, plagiarizing all its content. Oh, and don't make a video that is so laughably funny that the banks you apply to send it around the investment community as the most, idiotic, self-absorbed, cliche-ridden awful thing people have seen in weeks.
Aleskey Veyner took none of that advice. The video was released to the public on Ivygate, a blog that covers the Ivy League.
From the Yale Daily News today:
"The 11-page resume, which was obtained by IvyGate, includes claims that Vayner taught martial arts to the winner of the Korean Nationals Tai-Kwan Do Championships and a link to a video purporting to be an interview with Vayner about his strategies for success. In the video, now available on YouTube, Vayner appears to lift a 495-pound weight and serve a tennis ball at 140 miles per hour.
"'To achieve success, you must first conceive it and believe in it. Remember: Impossible is nothing,' Vayner said in the video."
I feel compelled to quote from the cover letter he sent along with his 11-page resume:
"I strive in intense, competitive environments. As a world-level athlete in several sports, I have developed an insatiable appetite for peak performance and continuous learning. My trainer and world martial arts champion often said, 'Impossible is just someone's opinion.' I live by those words."
The writing only gets worse. It's like seeing a horrible car crash -- you just can't stop yourself.
And I'll just link to this piece written about him (PDF) by the guy who hosted him during Yale's Bulldog Days (a pre- and post-freshmen mixer on campus). Now that guy can write.
How Not To Land A Job: Laughing Last
Let me suggest that the outcome of the video, and all this attention, will be that Mr. Veyner will land a very good job in the field he has chosen, in part because of all the attention paid to this video. He who laughs last...
How Not To Land Jobs: Boise Chris
I met someone remarkable similar to this man by the name of Chis. He is still living here in Boise, Idaho, I think. He said he was a nurse, a paramedic, firefighter, worked at police dispatch and was also a backup dancer for Janet Jackson. What always got me is how much he beleived his own lies!
How To Not Get A Job: Dance Partner
As Aleksey's occasional ballroom dance partner, who can vouch for his waltz skills, i must say...
ok, Aleksey took things way too far. He is a difficult personality. But why do you hate on him so bitterly? schadenfreude?
Your criticism packs in a lot more cliches than his video. At least Aleksey has an imagination. He makes up funny stories and he's arrogant with flair. He's entertaining, not malicious.
While no excuse for the fake charity, etc, it's not easy to be a struggling Russian Jewish immigrant from Uzbekistan.
Wrong Way To Find Jobs: Scientologists
Funny but the Scientologists did not forecast the second coming of their founder but it sounds like he has turned up -- nearly believable?
Wrong Way To Find Jobs: Doesn't Say Much For Yale
Wow... Doesn't say a lot for Yale that you can graduate from there and write like that.
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