Grace Kelly stands at the podium after receiving the best actress Oscar in 1955.
Last month, we asked members of the NPR audience to put themselves in the shoes (and characters) of this year's Oscar nominees and imagine what they would say if they won.
We got so many worthy entries that picking just one winner seemed as churlish as Judi Dench's role in Notes on a Scandal. So the staff at NPR.org picked five winners, along with a few runners-up, and recorded them reading their entries.
As you will hear, our winners captured the spirit of the nominees' characters, if not always their accents. The speeches were limited to 200 words, about the length of an Oscar speech. But we didn't cut them off with an orchestra, and we didn't ask them who they were wearing. (After all, it's radio.)
Without further ado, the envelope please. And the Oscars for Best Fake Oscar Speech go to...