Prime-Time Presidential Candidates

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With the personal lives of presidential candidates already playing a role in the early stages of the 2008 election, what would it be like if the candidates had their own steamy prime-time drama?


And now, our humorist Brian Unger imagines the very human presidential candidates as stars of a very steamy primetime drama. Here's today's Unger Report.

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BRIAN UNGER: This week on "Race Anatomy" the race for president heats up. Tensions escalate between Hillary and Barack, and Newt must reveal a big secret. Meanwhile, Rudy reaches out to his estranged son, as the right breaks John's heart.

Also this week on an all-new "Race Anatomy," Newt continues to work frivolously to save his candidacy. But the man with only one wife of 38 years still has no heartbeat. Romney prepares for the worst.

It's a "Race Anatomy" like you've never seen before.

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UNGER: Also this week, a twice-divorced Gingrich, a twice-divorced Giuliani, and a once divorced McCain - McSpeaker, McMayor and McCain - grounded by love, and a snowstorm, wind up stranded in a D.C. Comfort Inn. When the electricity goes out, the three men must cuddle to stay warm. Spooning in front of an electric fireplace, Gingrich finally breaks down, overcome by the guilt he feels over his role in the Clinton-Lewinsky affair.

Sharing a few tears and a flask of bourbon, and swapping stories about their combined eight marriages, Newt, Rudy and John promise to be better frienenemies. What else will Newt confess? What's in Rudy's closet? And can McCain bounce back? Don't ask. Don't tell. Just watch. It's a "Race Anatomy" that will leave the far right breathless.

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UNGER: And still to come on this very special presidential "Race Anatomy," Hillary, Bill and the Oval Office. It's a love triangle.

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Unidentified Woman: (Singing) Fools in love. Are there any other kinds of lover?

UNGER: Together, tossing aside a checkered past, the three try to make it work. But will Bill McSteamy Clinton's shot at becoming the first First Husband be foiled by another man?

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UNGER: Barack Obama, Senator McDreamy. Will a country take a man seriously whose worst habit is an occasional cigarette? Most of all, can America trust a man who has only been married once? Find out in an all-new season of passion and politics on "Race Anatomy."

And that is today's Unger Report. I'm Brian Unger.

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