March Madness: Time for a Vasectomy

Sitting on the couch for four days watching March Madness? The Oregon Urology Institute thinks you should use the time to recover from a vasectomy — Scott Simon talks with the institute's administrator, Terry FitzPatrick, about why.

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SCOTT SIMON, host:

College basketball's March Madness has certain rituals: the old college sweatshirt, filling out brackets, and maybe not vasectomies? Yes, says the Oregon Urology Institute in Springfield. Maybe that should be ouch.

Terry FitzPatrick is the institute administrator and joins us from Eugene. Thanks so much for being with us.

Mr. TERRY FITZPATRICK (Administrator, Oregon Urology Institute): Well, thank you for having me.

SIMON: Let's be plain but decorous about this. March Madness is a good time to have a vasectomy.

Mr. FITZPATRICK: Oh absolutely. I mean, it's so popular now. And just to have an opportunity to…

SIMON: I'm not sure popular is the word. They're common now.

Mr. FITZPATRICK: Oh no, the March Madness is popular.

SIMON: Oh, I beg your pardon.

Mr. FITZPATRICK: Yeah.

SIMON: Yes.

Mr. FITZPATRICK: And then the opportunity to have four days of ability to watch March Madness uninterrupted and have a legitimate excuse or a legitimate reason to watch it is an absolutely wonderful combination. This was supposed to be a little low-budget kind of local thing to see if it would push some guys over, and the thing has just blown up on us.

SIMON: I'm going to acknowledge to our audience, I know there's a lot of double-entendres that are possible, but we'll just continue with business as usual here.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: So more people are getting vasectomies, at least at your clinic, to time it out with March Madness and the basketball playoffs.

Mr. FITZPATRICK: Absolutely. We actually have the Wednesday before the first round and then the Wednesday before the second round of to the NCAA, and we've created capacity just to do vasectomies.

SIMON: Now the whole premise of this is they've got to be kind of just sitting down, recuperating anyway.

Mr. FITZPATRICK: The typical type is that vasectomies would be done on a Friday, and a guy would sit around the weekend with this bag of frozen peas, and then he'd be back to work on Monday. So…

SIMON: Okay, explain the frozen peas to us.

Mr. FITZPATRICK: It's a good ice pack, but it's also malleable to let you get into those tender little spots to help the swelling go down.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: Sorry, I don't think anybody's ever said tender little spots to me in quite this context before, but…

Mr. FITZPATRICK: It works, doesn't it?

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: Yeah, so now you give your - do we call them customers, clients, patients…

Mr. FITZPATRICK: Patients.

SIMON: They get a little get-well bag.

Mr. FITZPATRICK: It's all part of the tongue-in-cheek and the play on the whole weekend, but the bag, we have a little ice chest, a little soft-sided ice chest, and we do have a bag of frozen peas. We have a sports magazine, and then we have a little certificate to get a pizza delivered, and we have a Subway sandwich. So you can get a Subway sandwich. So when you get hungry, you can take care of all your needs while you stay on the couch.

SIMON: Terry FitzPatrick of the Oregon Urology Institute in Springfield. Thank you so much.

Mr. FITZPATRICK: My pleasure.

SIMON: Are there still slots?

Mr. FITZPATRICK: There are a couple of slots left, yes.

SIMON: Well our best to you and the frozen-food section.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FITZPATRICK: Thanks a lot.

SIMON: And this is NPR News.

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