The 10 Worst Beers on Planet Drunk
MICHELE NORRIS, host:
For commentator Dennis O'Toole, the corn syrup in ketchup isn't the only significant thing that's jumped in price along with the cost of corn.
Mr. DENNIS O'TOOLE (Comedian): The world's most important liquid is more expensive than it used to be - no, not oil - Beer. The price of hops have jumped from 80 to 450 percent, thanks to a worldwide shortage. A 20 pound bag of malted barley is up as much as 57 percent. As a result, microbrews and imports are often $3 more per six-pack than a year ago. And yet our politicians prattle on about the war in Iraq, health care and the mortgage crisis. Enough, let's talk substance. Let's talk beer.
Barack Obama may be the only candidate who cares. He recently ordered a PBR while campaigning. Some say he was pandering to the blue-collar vote. But, is this finally a candidate who feels our pain? Our leaders should - nay, must - step in. This week, the Senate voted to stop sending oil to the strategic petroleum reserve. We have a strategic petroleum reserve? Why don't we have a strategic hops reserve? Why hasn't anyone proposed a beer tax holiday? I'm not saying it's a great idea. I'm not even saying the conclusion of this essay makes sense. I'm just saying...
(Soundbite of beer can opening)
Mr. O'TOOLE: Ahh. I'm sorry, what was I saying?
NORRIS: Dennis O'Toole is an improv comedian. He lives in Chicago. He's 33 years old and he wishes someone, just anyone, would still card him.