'Twas The Night Before Christmas 2.0

Parents have recited the verses of "A Visit from St. Nicholas" for nearly two centuries, and we suspect that the tradition of parodying the poem — which famously begins, "'Twas the night before Christmas ..." — is nearly as old. Share your updated versions of the poem, be they about politics, sports or the economy.

Ken Rudin, NPR's political editor, offers this twist on the old Christmas classic:

'Twas the night before Christmas, and we at NPR,
Decided to review the year in politics, near and afar.

It started off clear, so sure were we
The nominees would be Mitt, and perhaps Hillary.

He had the hair and the great wealth.
She had connections, and the program for health.

But then something happened, that ended in surprise
Obama and McCain wound up with the prize.

Barack, he was called, what a strange name,
Not to mention Obama, let alone Hussein.

He was new to the Senate, a new shining light.
But he had his problems; think "Reverend Wright."

And then there was Bill, who for Hillary he made his pitch.
He could do anything he wanted; remember Marc Rich?

The Clintons were tough, there was no question.
But Obama never gave up; it's as if he was destined.

He smiled, he reasoned, he spoke out for hope
So what if he spent his college days smoking that dope?

On the GOP side it was another good story
John McCain was on top, but many were worried.

On taxes, on torture, and the immigrant fight
He was not one of them, said the folks on the right.

So what did he do, with his chances a fadin'?
He picked this woman, this Sarah Palin.

She was tough, wore lipstick, and came from Alaska,
Was she going to help John McCain and the Republicans? You betcha.

But then something happened to end their mood euphoric
She had trouble with questions, and one Katie Couric.

Bristol was pregnant, in love thanks to Cupid,
But ultimately, it came down to the economy, stupid.

The collapse of the Dow, the growing unemployment number
Proved more important than John, or Sarah, or Joe the Plumber.

The year of course, was more than just this
And if Neal allows me, I'll continue my list.

Religion was important, and family too,
Just ask Vito Fossella, he had two.

And poor Tim Mahoney, he who replaced Mark Foley
The Florida Democrat had his own sex scandal; holy moly!

Bill Jefferson, his money in the freezer, he couldn't explain how,
No matter, he lost his seat, to a Vietnamese-American named Cao.

President Bush, down on his luck,
Went to Baghdad, and managed to duck

Two shoes were thrown, was the journalist's role
Bush saw the reporter, and looked into his sole.

Caroline Kennedy, as a child there was no one cuta,
Now has to spend her weekends, and Christmas, in Buffalo and Utica.

But if you think campaigning for the Senate is really a bitch
Just think, it could be worse, you could be Rod Blagojevich.

Wanna buy a Senate seat? Do you have money I can keep?
If you don't, then all I can say, is bleep bleep bleep.

I'm sorry for this poem, it is a bit clunky,
But I urge you to read my daily blog, which just so happens can be found at NPR dot org slash junkie.

And Here are the poetic stylings of the Talk of the Nation staff:

'Twas the show before Christmas
and our editor groused
that no news is bad news
well, she's such a louse.
Our white board stood empty

The holes all unfilled
the wires run scores, and flack year-end puffery

When suddenly we all heard such a clatter
And ran to the news room, to see what's the matter
And there stood a guest Host
With a sleigh full of ideas
Evergreens features, news did he boast
And Ari bid fair, to talk coast to coast.

On movies, on bailouts, on corruption and trends...
With Koppel, and Amy, with Murray and Ken

For him working Christmas is no great big matter —
(in fact, when we asked him — he seemed kinda flattered!)
As for me — I'll be nervous, eager to look,
To see if my stocking can fit comic books!
I'll see you all Monday, bushy tailed and bright —
To all a good Christmas, and all — a safe night.

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