SCOTT SIMON, host:

Now, if you don't have the time or inclination to make something for your love, there's always the gift of music.

(Soundbite of song "Feelings")

WELSH MEN'S CHOIR: (Singing) Feelings, nothing more than feelings...

SIMON: On second thought, that music might get you sent to sleep on the couch. But at least you'll have annoying music to keep you company, which introduces Jim Nayder, host of "The Annoying Music Show!," produced at WBEZ in Chicago and carried on local public stations across the country who thumb their nose at the notion of a fairness doctrine. How are you, Jim?

Mr. JIM NAYDER (Host, "The Annoying Music Show!"): Scott, I feel like Wavy Gravy in a mushroom patch.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: That's well said, whatever you're saying.

Mr. NAYDER: I don't even know if mushrooms grow in a patch or not.

SIMON: Mushrooms grow in Whole Foods, if I'm not mistaken. They're in the vegetable section. Now, who are these people singing?

Mr. NAYDER: This is the Welsh all-men's choir doing the classic, "Feelings," for Valentine's Day, and it's both beautiful and so wrong on so many levels.

SIMON: So the Welsh men's choir sings in English, not Welsh, huh? I guess they sing in all languages.

Mr. NAYDER: Yes. They thought the original interpretation of this was the best, and I...

SIMON: You have something to introduce us to, right?

Mr. NAYDER: Well, yes. You know, Valentine's Day love songs. The 1970s were the Golden Age of annoying music, and many think that Captain & Tennille's original love songs could not be topped for annoyance until a man from Pakistan came along.

(Soundbite of song "Love Will Keep Us Together")

PIRANHA MAN FROM PAKISTAN: (Singing) Love, love will keep us together Think of me babe whenever Some sweet talking girl comes along singing her song Don't mess around, You just gotta be strong Just stop 'Cause I really love you Stop, I'll be thinking of you

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: You know, I think they figured out a way to flush Osama bin Laden out of those tribal areas in Pakistan. Who is the artist?

Mr. NAYDEN: The artist allegedly is Piranha Man from Pakistan. He's a successful Chicago entrepreneur in everything but singing.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: Well, we're glad...

Mr. NAYDEN: And we love him here.

SIMON: We're glad to be able to feature him, and our thanks for his artistic contribution.

Mr. NAYDEN: Yes.

SIMON: You have another one, right?

Mr. NAYDEN: Oh, I do, Scott. I've got two or three hours' worth if you've got enough time. I do.

SIMON: But we do - we do have other things to go on to. But all right. Yes, please. A few minutes, yes.

Mr. NAYDEN: Well, Scott, Valentine's Day, after all, is about embracing love. And a scriptures states, there is no greater love than to give one's life for a chicken.

(Soundbite of song "When a Man Loves a Chicken")

Mr. ROBERT RIVER: (Singing) When a man wants a chicken, spends his very last dime Buying her fresh corn down at the grazing field. When a man loves a...

SIMON: What is this? "When a Man Loves a Chicken" song or something? What is it?

Mr. NAYDEN: Yes. This is "When a Man Loves a Chicken" by Robert River. You have guts because when I was on CNN, they wouldn't play this.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: Well, yeah, I know.

Mr. NAYDEN: Something about Wolf Blitzer and a rooster incident that...

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. NAYDEN: But I'm thrilled you had the gumption to lose your license.

SIMON: Our friend Wolf is a little sensitive about that rooster, I think it's safe to say.

Mr. NAYDEN: You know, Scott.

SIMON: Yeah?

Mr. NAYDEN: This goes both ways because man loves chicken but chicken can also love man.

(Soundbite of song performed by chicken noises)

SIMON: Jim, I want to take advantage of the fact that I happen to know you speak poultro-American.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: Could you translate these lyrics for us? I think we'd all understand the song and be moved by it if you could.

Mr. NAYDER: I think they speak for themselves, but I also think...

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: It's like Yiddish. You know, you don't really have to know the language to know...

Mr. NAYDER: It's part - it's very similar to German, I think.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: And tastes like chicken.

Mr. NAYDER: I think you might be getting PETA for an underwriter, Scott.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: God forbid. How did they get this chicken to sing?

Mr. NAYDER: Oh, by the way, Scott.

SIMON: Yeah?

Mr. NAYDER: Before I forget, I have a question.

SIMON: Sure.

Mr. NAYDER: Will you be doing, as you do every Valentine's Day tonight buying chocolates and flowers, dressing up and taking Carolyn(ph) to Taco Bell?

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. NAYDER: I can just imagine this magical moment.

(Soundbite of song "Taco Bell Canon")

THE RICK BAYLESS CHOIR: (Singing) I like tacos, I like tacos, I like tacos, I like tacos (yum yum yum, yum yum yum)

Mr. NAYDER: Well, this is the Rick Bayless chorus, by the way.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: Oh, "The Taco Bell Canon."

(Soundbite of song "Taco Bell Canon")

SIMON: That's Rick coming in right there, Deann, Lanie, right. Yeah.

(Soundbite of song "Taco Bell Canon")

THE RICK BAYLESS CHOIR: (Singing) Taco, taco, taco, taco bell, taco bell.

Mr. NAYDER: Too bad we don't have time for the big burrito ending, but what are you going to do?

SIMON: I believe the president...

Mr. NAYDER: I'm so jealous of you and Carolyn and the evening you're going to have.

(Soundbite of song "Taco Bell Canon")

SIMON: Hey, I find that song very moving.

Mr. NAYDER: Well, at about four in the morning, it's very moving.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: Now, of course, you have something that's included for children?

Mr. NAYDER: Yes. There's nothing more beautiful than the love of a son for a mother on Valentine's Day, I think...

SIMON: Oh, be careful, Jim. I have no idea what you're going to play, but just be careful.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: That's a sacred relationship you're talking about, OK? Yes.

Mr. NAYDER: No. This is a young man in our "Annoying Music Show!" witness protection program.

(Soundbite of song "Wind Beneath My Wings")

Little Boy RICK: (Singing) Did you ever know that you're my hero? And everything, everything I would like to be?

SIMON: Oh!

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of song "Wind Beneath My Wings")

Little Boy RICK: (Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle 'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings

SIMON: But would - unlike you and me, wouldn't a mother still find that endearing?

Mr. NAYDER: Oh, yes. Yes, and actually, it was little Rick's mom that sent me the CD. And I said, did you know this was "The Annoying Music Show!"? And she said yes, but no one else will give us air play.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. NAYDER: So I...

SIMON: So, this is an actual little boy, little Rick - little Ricky?

Mr. NAYDER: Yeah. Yeah. But I've agreed not to release his full name for the protection of innocents everywhere.

SIMON: Yes, I know. (Laughing) I think that's wise under the circumstances. But I mean, a little boy singing out his heart for his mother, I think that's nice.

Mr. NAYDER: Well, that's why you're Scott Simon.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SIMON: I've been wondering what the answer is to that. Jim Nayder is host and the chief culprit of "The Annoying Music Show!" It's done out of WBEZ in Chicago. Jim, thanks so much, and Happy Valentine's Day to you.

Mr. NAYDER: Ditto.

(Soundbite of piano music)

LIBERACE (Performer): Remember when you couldn't wait to love me. You used to hate to leave me. Now, after loving you late at night, when it's good for you and you're feeling all right, why, you just roll over and turn out the light. And you don't bring me flowers...

SIMON: The great Liberace. This is Weekend Edition. I'm Scott Simon.

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