NPR logo

Just Take Off Your Shoes And Smile

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/127256375/127257124" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Just Take Off Your Shoes And Smile

Just Take Off Your Shoes And Smile

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/127256375/127257124" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

SCOTT SIMON, host:

As Americans move about the country this Memorial Day weekend, experts say air travel will increase this summer despite higher fares, sudden travel surcharges and checked baggage fees. Aviation consultant Michael Boyd says the combination of more people clamoring for seats on fewer flights will guarantee one thing -its going to be uncomfortable up there. Can't wait? �There are bargain flights to Iceland - so beautiful in summer, pristine white snows melted by volcanic ash.

Because Im on an airplane every few days, I try to remind myself of a few truisms when I encounter delays. Airport security measures can seem absurd. Grandmothers with surgical pins in their knees get frisked, while hulking guys who look like Tony Sopranos henchmen are waved into first class. The belt that rings alarms in Syracuse sails through detection devices in Detroit. TSA agents check that the name on your ticket matches your identification as if they were looking for college-age drinkers, even though terrorists, from the 9/11 hijackers to the Underwear Bomber, flew under their own names.

But before you groan, remember: No matter how incisive and clever you think you are, you won't convince a TSA agent - Bill Clinton couldn't - that airport security screening is so silly you should be waved through. So take off your shoes and smile.

Time is money is now a business plan. Airlines short of money fire staff, raise fares and hope to handle more passengers with fewer people. But if you owned an airline, or even stock in one, would you give up profits for faster lines?

Also: the people youre likely to get snippy with if and when your flight is delayed or your luggage is lost are probably the least responsible. You may have missed a meeting, wedding or important rendezvous. Gate agents and crew members have had their wages and pensions cut, seen many of their friends fired and been told to do more things for less money. Now they have to contend with angry passengers like us.

Finally: keep a sense of proportion. If you board a plane in Newark and get off in Los Angeles six hours later - or seven or eight, because of delays - from a flight thats served only pretzels and water, you might feel hungry, grubby and aggravated. But youve also flown safely across a continent. You can see more places, from the Statue of Liberty to the Great Wall, in just a short time than your grandparents could in a lifetime. Count your blessings - and take off your shoes.

(Soundbite of song, "Seatbacks and Traytables")

FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE (Music Group): (Singing) Seatbacks and traytables, please. Suddenly I can't feel my knees. Second-run movies, in-flight shopping magazines. Wheezing the air up there, got me a backache somewhere.

SIMON: Fountains of Wayne, and you're listening to NPR News.

Copyright © 2010 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.