RENEE MONTAGNE, HOST:
When she was just five years old, writer Vaddey Ratner's comfortable and protected life as the child of an aristocratic Cambodian family ended abruptly. That's when Khmer Rouge soldiers banged on the gates of the family's compound and ordered them to leave. It was a start of a reign of terror by the Khmer Rouge. It left hundreds of thousands of Cambodians dead, including Ratner's entire family, except her mother.
Ratner has written a new book about her experience and it's not a memoir, it's a work of fiction. Because, as NPR's Lynn Neary reports, Ratner believes stories helped her to survive.
LYNN NEARY, BYLINE: Vaddey Ratner always felt like an oddball as a child. She was self-conscious because she walked with a limp, as a result of polio. One day, some of the kids in her extended family were teasing her, saying she was not one of them; that she must have been found in the street. Ratner ran to her father for comfort.
VADDEY RATNER: He said, You know, they were probably right. I did find you, and I found you in a bird's nest. You wobbled when you walk. But you know there are these things, these wings coming out of your back. And, you know, I looked at him skeptically and he said to me, well, you know, that's what I dreamt.
NEARY: Ratner loved the way her father could transform reality through storytelling. So when it came to writing her first book, "In the Shadow of the Banyan." Ratner didn't want to merely chronicle events. She wanted to create a work of art.
RATNER: I wanted to tell a larger story about hope and survival, the unbreakable bonds of family. And I actually want to tell a story about the power of storytelling to transcend suffering. Because it was the stories that saved me - the stories, the poetry that my father left behind.
NEARY: Ratner has changed some of the details of her own experiences; the order of events, the size of her family. The young girl in the novel, Raami, is a couple of years older than she was. And the father in the book is a real poet, not just an avid storyteller who loved to recite poetry. But the chaos and violence of her family's forced exile in rural Cambodia is based on what really happened. The reader sees it through the eyes of a child.
RATNER: What I wanted was for the readers to feel the helplessness of a child, to not understand what was going on. To - actually I want the readers experience to mirror mine when I went through it.
NEARY: Raami, and I guess you, I don't know if this really parallels something that really happened. But Raami believes it's her fault that she has lost her father to the Khmer Rouge at a certain point, because she inadvertently revealed who he was.
RATNER: Yes. I think it's part of why I wrote this book. I think a part of me felt that I was responsible for the loss of my father's life.
So I wrote this book to make him live again, and to make him live forever.
NEARY: Ratner says writing this book was excruciating at times because it brought back so many painful memories, including her last moments with her father. In this scene he tells her that he wants his stories to give her the wings she needs to rise above anything that might happen to her.
RATNER: (Reading) I am telling you this now, this story, for it is a story, so that you will live. When I lie buried beneath this Earth, you will fly, for me Raami. For your papa, you will soar. I didn't respond. I wanted him to stop talking. Whatever it was he was trying to tell me, it sounded like a goodbye.
NEARY: If her father gave her the inspiration to live, Ratner says it was her mother who ensured that she would survive. Surrounded by death, brutalized by the Khmer Rouge guards, forced into hard labor and facing starvation, Ratner says her mother did everything she could to protect her only surviving child.
RATNER: I've always thought of this book as the first half was focused on my father, was almost a love letter to him. And the second half was a celebration of my mother's strength. The transformation that she manifested for me from this woman who depended so much on my father, to this woman of amazing strength who charted her own way through this very harsh landscape.
NEARY: When things became unbearable for Raami, she clings to her father's stories and her mother's words. You mustn't think this is our life, her mother told her, Remember who you are.
RATNER: (Reading) In a world of senseless death, I didn't see the purpose, couldn't grasp but the meaning. If this what our collective karma, then why was I still alive? If anything, I was as guilty as those who survived and as innocent as those who died. What name, then, can I give to the force that carried me on? With each life taken away, a part of it passed on to me. I didn't know its name. All I could grasp was the call to remember. Remember, I lived by this word alone.
NEARY: Ultimately, Ratner and her mother escaped Cambodia and made their way to the United States. While in high school, she was profoundly influenced by the works of Eli Wiesel. She realized she wanted to write about her experiences under the Khmer Rouge, so that such atrocities might not happen again
RATNER: In order to prevent it, we can only be vigilant. We have to recognize that there is both the capacity for good and for atrocity in each and every one of us. When we recognize this, then, I think, we are much more vigilant that it can happen; not just in a culture like Cambodia it can happen anywhere.
NEARY: Looking at Vaddey Ratner now, it is almost impossible to believe that this tiny, delicate woman who still walks with a limp could have survived the Killing Fields of Cambodia. But she did.
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NEARY: Lynn Neary NPR News, Washington.
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