PETER SAGAL, HOST:
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Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Paula, the U.S.'s new billion-dollar F-35 fighter jets have failed to meet military standards for speed, acceleration, and handling. Not to worry, though, the Pentagon found a way to fix the situation. What did they do?
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Ask everyone else to slow down.
SAGAL: You're actually kind of close. They had set these benchmarks for performance, and it didn't meet the benchmarks.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, it changed the benchmarks.
SAGAL: Exactly, they lowered their standards.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, good idea.
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SAGAL: They basically pretended it was 1 a.m., and they were still in the bar alone. They're like OK, whatever works for me now.
SAGAL: So when the F-35 stealth fighter jet, which has cost a trillion dollars to develop, failed its performance tests, the Pentagon just lowered the speed and handling requirements until it could pass. They beat the previous solution, which had pilots getting a red pen and changing the F to an A before they showed their moms.
SAGAL: It used to be the Pentagon said of the F-35, this is going to be the fastest, smartest, most advanced fighter jet modern warfare has ever seen. Now they're saying, well, it's got a great personality.
POUNDSTONE: Did I ever tell you my daughter one time on her report card, my oldest daughter, she changed a D-minus in science with a black marker into a D-plus.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I...
SAGAL: It's incremental.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I couldn't help laughing when I talked to her. I said honey, once you're in the D range, you can pretty much let it ride, I think.
POUNDSTONE: I showed her how to make a D into a B, and I said if you ever want to work for the Pentagon, young lady.
SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists lie to you about school. It's our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait to play.
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SAGAL: We'll be back in a minute, with more of WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! from NPR.