Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

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CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is "WAIT, WAIT...DON'T TELL ME," the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bodden, Faith Salie and Charlie Pierce. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl. In just a minute, Jaeger Carl battles giant kaiju monsters in the new film Pacific Rhyme.

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SAGAL: It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Faith, in a finding that will shock some people and increase the sales of screen protectors 1,000 percent, a new survey found that 20 percent of young adults use their iPhones during what?

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FAITH SALIE: Going to the bathroom?

SAGAL: Oh, that's 100 percent, Faith.

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SALIE: Sex?

SAGAL: Yeah, sex.

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SAGAL: The findings of the 2013 Mobile Consumer Habits Study has alarmed some. They remember simpler days when you'd take the time to write a handwritten note or read a good book during sex. But...

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CHARLIE PIERCE: You know what the great thing about that is, Peter...

SAGAL: What?

PIERCE: ...for Catholic young adults?

SAGAL: Yeah.

PIERCE: You can commit a mortal sin and get an indulgence at the same time.

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SAGAL: One thing you should never do with your phone during sex is of course use Shazam. That's a service that tells you what you're listening to? It'd be like "I dunno, you're killing a seal?" What?

PIERCE: Or worse, your GPS kicks in, you know. Go 15 more feet, turn left.

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SAGAL: If you need to go 15 more feet you're like, you are really doing it wrong.

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SAGAL: Charlie, more and more companies are turning to Twitter and Facebook to see how their products and services are being received by the public. But it's not a foolproof system, so some are now getting help figuring out if their customer's messages are what?

PIERCE: Real?

SAGAL: No.

PIERCE: I mean, are authentic from authentic people?

SAGAL: No, they can handle that. That's not the problem.

PIERCE: True, if they're...

SAGAL: No. That was a great guess, Charlie. Really super smart.

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PIERCE: What, if they're just being sarcastic

SAGAL: Exactly. If they're being sarcastic.

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SAGAL: That's the problem. So like, for example...

PIERCE: Really?

SAGAL: Yeah, like you tweet Thanks, USAir, for getting me to my destination two hours late. And US Air's customer analytics thinks: Hey, people want more late arrivals. We can do that.

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ALONZO BODDEN: Well, I think if it's an airline and it's a compliment, then it's sarcasm.

SAGAL: Exactly.

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SAGAL: They're all sarcasm.

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SAGAL: There's a company called Spotter. It's developed new software that can do text analysis and can recognize sarcasm.

SALIE: What, by emoticons?

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PIERCE: First of all, every middle school in America is going to buy one of these things.

SAGAL: Yes, I know. Oh, and then this is bad too because you're basically teaching the machines to be sarcastic. So when they do rise up and kill us, it's going to be that much worse, you know. It's going to be like, hey great job, evolution. Skin is really good at stopping lasers.

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SAGAL: Alonzo, a new study sheds some light on what led prehistoric man to make those famous cave paintings. Apparently, he did what before he painted?

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BODDEN: Before or during?

SAGAL: Before.

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PIERCE: You know, the prototype iPhone, yeah.

BODDEN: Let's see, what did - did he do whatever was painted, like kill the animal or...

SAGAL: No, that would be kind of obvious.

BODDEN: Yeah.

SAGAL: So this is a more of an interesting discovery.

PIERCE: I think my sarcasm software just went off.

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SAGAL: Yeah. I'll give you a hint. It's like Ogg find mushroom. Ogg eat mushroom. Ogg's arm covered in snakes. Get them off Ogg.

BODDEN: Oh, he was hallucinating.

SAGAL: He was. He was high on drugs.

PIERCE: He was tripping.

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SAGAL: This follows an earlier study suggesting some of the plants early man ate had hallucinogenic effects, right. Now, some scientists compared ancient cave paintings to artwork created by modern humans who happened to be on drugs. Researchers from Japan have concluded early man was probably just painting drug-induced hallucinations. This finding is bolstered by the fact that ancient paintings, quote, "look way cooler under a black light."

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BODDEN: So when he felt he had killed a giant saber tooth tiger, he probably just kicked the housecat outside.

SAGAL: Exactly.

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BODDEN: Get out of my cave.

SAGAL: It must've been frustrating to be a prehistoric druggie? You roll a joint and you can't light it because you haven't invented fire yet.

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SAGAL: Alonzo, a Bay area innovator has come up with a new gadget that promises to make life easier for millions of fumbling teenagers and busy women. What is it?

BODDEN: Fumbling teenagers and busy women. All right, I'm 0 for 2 here.

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SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. Sort of like clasp on, clap off.

BODDEN: Clasp on, clap off. Oh, the audience just got it.

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BODDEN: Oh, a bra strap...

SAGAL: A bra strap that does what?

BODDEN: That you can clap on and clap off?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

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(LAUGHTER)

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SAGAL: It's a clap-off bra. You heard of - remember - everybody remembers the clapper, the clap-on, clap-off light switch that they advertised on TV way back when? Well, inventor Randy Salofan has taken that same technology and made it creepy. The clap-off bra falls to the floor when you clap your hands like that. It's good news for eager teenage boys trying to get to second base. It's terrible news for any woman who's just won an award or just finished a piano solo.

SALIE: What will cheerleaders do?

SAGAL: I don't think...

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SAGAL: This is important to remember. I do not believe that wearing one is mandatory.

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SAGAL: I mean, it's a choice people make.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!