Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT, WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in Elkhart, Indiana on November 21st.

Hi, you're on WAIT, WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

CARLETON FALLER: Hi. This is Carleton Faller from Houston, Texas.

SAGAL: Hey, Carleton. How are you?

FALLER: Just fine.

SAGAL: Now what do you do there in Houston?

FALLER: I'm a EEE parts engineer for NASA at the Johnson Space Center.

SAGAL: That's awesome.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We've been to the Johnson Space Center. It's pretty cool. And sorry, you said Triple E parts engineer?

FALLER: Electrical, electronic and electromechanical, so we make sure that computer chips and switches and resistance capacitors are adequate for the environment - the harsh environment of space.

SAGAL: That's very cool.

BRIAN BABYLON: You're just a rocket scientist, right bro?

FALLER: No.

BABYLON: Just say that.

(LAUGHTER)

FALLER: No, we have rocket scientists but that's not me.

JESSI KLEIN, COMEDIAN: Have you seen "Gravity?"

(LAUGHTER)

FALLER: I have seen "Gravity."

COMEDIAN: Did it feel like really real?

FALLER: It scared the heck out of me.

COMEDIAN: I bet.

FALLER: It was fantastic.

LUKE BURBANK: Your job is to make sure that doesn't happen, Carleton.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Carleton. It's good to talk to you. Carl Kasell is going to perform for you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to go?

FALLER: I hope so.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: In New Zealand, the people agree a cat nation we will not be. Get them neutered and spayed or a fine will be paid. We can own cats, but no more than...

FALLER: Three?

SAGAL: Yes, indeed, three.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A district in New Zealand has passed new legislation banning residents from owning more than three cats. This is part of a new initiative to cut down on noise, smell and New Zealand's rising's crazy lady population.

BABYLON: That should be zero.

SAGAL: You don't like cats?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

COMEDIAN: I think it really sums up the difference between the United States and New Zealand, that we are deciding whether the global economy is going to topple and they're like, three cats tops, right?

(LAUGHTER)

COMEDIAN: Three cats - two or three cats?

SAGAL: We got any other business? No? All right.

COMEDIAN: Raise the cat ceiling.

SAGAL: That's great.

(LAUGHTER)

COMEDIAN: You're welcome.

SAGAL: Yeah.

COMEDIAN: Bye everyone. Bye.

SAGAL: Yeah, yeah.

BURBANK: I don't believe that someone can make a cogent argument for more than three cats.

SAGAL: Once you're beyond three cats, it's over. You might as well get to 20.

COMEDIAN: The gateway drug is one cat.

(LAUGHTER)

COMEDIAN: It seems like that's the problem.

SAGAL: Really? Not everybody who gets one cat ends up with 40 cats.

COMEDIAN: I think so.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hey, Carleton, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: In the tenderloin, just past Van Ness, They say vagrancy causes a mess. So with pawn, rook, and queen we are ma-king a scene. In protest, we sit and play...

FALLER: Chess.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Public chess used to be a popular pastime in San Francisco, but the police have shut it down, saying the games attract homeless people. And worse, they attract the type of homeless secret geniuses that might get a Robin Williams movie made about them.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Chess advocates are angry. They've organized a march to fight this injustice. It'll be led by the knights, so it's going two blocks up, one block over, two blocks up...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: I think you're some sort of a witch 'cause my voice has developed a glitch. I'm no longer a bass 'cause I'm charmed by your face. Now my voice just keeps rising in...

FALLER: In pitch?

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Scientists at Albright College have discovered that men's voices go up several octaves while talking to pretty women. This is because people instinctively mimic the voice of the person they're talking to, and because it's important to provide women with yet another reason to reject you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The same, apparently, is true of women, their voices get lower when talking to men they're interested in, which really raises questions about every interview Terry Gross has ever given.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Yeah, guys should always - I've said this before on this program - you should always follow the Barry White school of macking to ladies. Keep it deep. Because any time you get your voice pitchy, that ain't hot.

COMEDIAN: I think most men's problems talking to women are more content related.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Carleton do on our quiz?

KASELL: Carleton, you had three correct answers, so you win our prize. Congratulations.

SAGAL: Well done. Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bye, Carleton. Thanks for playing.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!