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Hannibal Buress: It's A Rap

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Hannibal Buress: It's A Rap

Hannibal Buress: It's A Rap

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Please welcome back our very important puzzler, Hannibal Buress.

(APPLAUSE)

HANNIBAL BURESS: Yeah. Yeah.

EISENBERG: Hannibal, you'll be playing with a member from our audience. Please welcome Brent Nycz.

BURESS: Yeah, man. You ready? Let's do this, dog. Hey, handshake, man. We're working together.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: Listeners, me and him, we just shook hands.

EISENBERG: Yup.

BRENT NYCZ: For the first time ever.

BURESS: You got to let everybody else in, you know/

EISENBERG: Hannibal, Brent, Brent, Hannibal. Glad you have met. Brent is a fifth-grade schoolteacher that works with special needs children. And he is the number one person his friends want to take a karaoke. Why is that, Brent?

(APPLAUSE)

NYCZ: I have the tendency to jump on couches, point to different people, serenade them and things of that sort. Unfortunately, my voice is awful, so, unfortunately.

BURESS: Ah.

EISENBERG: Oh.

BURESS: What's your top song? Your go to where you're like man, I've bombing for six songs straight.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: I need something to get me out of this funk. I'm going to hit this "Bennie and the Jets" real quick.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: What's your song? What is your "Bennie and the Jets?"

NYCZ: You know what? I got two.

BURESS: Yeah.

NYCZ: I got two. First off, I could nail the Jay-Z part of "Empire State of Mind."

BURESS: All right.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERS)

NYCZ: And Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight."

BURESS: All right.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERS)

NYCZ: I mean, when you hip-hop, hippie to the hippie, the hip hip-hop, a you don't stop the rock it to the bang, bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. Now what you Hannibal is not a test I'm rappin' to the beat. And me, the groove and my friends and NPR, we're gonna try to move your feet.

(APPLAUSE)

BURESS: Yeah, man. Yes.

EISENBERG: Hannibal, do you have a response to that?

BURESS: No. I don't. My response is that yeah, that's the part everybody knows. But then...

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: But then that song, that song trailed heavily at the end.

(LAUGHTER)

NYCZ: Well, once we get into the barbecue part, when the chicken ain't just ain't no good. Yeah. I understand.

BURESS: Yeah. See, the energy lagged.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: Everybody could hip hip and hoppity. But...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Hannibal, you performed gibberish rap.

BURESS: Yeah. My friend had me hosting this mix tape. My friend Tony Trimm had a mix tape called "Charcuteries and Champagne" and...

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: But then this beat came on and I just started rapping over it and then I listen back and I was like, this sounds catchy and then I just started adding stuff to it. And then I wanted to perform it, but I was good to perform it with just me on stage. So now whenever I perform it, I have between three to six ballerinas with me.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: And also costumed characters, I used that custom characters. Like I would have Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks." I would've had "SpongeBob," and SpongeBob came through in Miami. And that sounds fun to say, it yeah, SpongeBob came through in Miami. Incredible Hulk came through in Cleveland.

NYCZ: Would you ever invite an audience member from the crowd to come up on stage with you to ballerina dance for some reason?

BURESS: Nah.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: I like to have professionals, really.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: But I appreciate your ambition and I hope you could respect my forwardness.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Hannibal, you said you knew a lot about rap music. Brent, we've established that you know the words to one or two songs.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: But what we're going to do is Hannibal, we're going to give you cards with the titles of some rap songs. And your job is to get Brent to guess the title of the song.

BURESS: The catch is that you can't use any of the words in the title...

All right.

EISENBERG: ...or mention the artist.

BURESS: Or no lyrics though, right?

EISENBERG: You can describe the part of the song. You can hum it. You can use any of the lyrics as long as they are not in the title of the song.

BURESS: All right.

EISENBERG: And if you break any of those rules, you will hear this...

(SOUNDBITE OF A BUZZER)

EISENBERG: Yeah.

BURESS: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: Negativity.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: Haters.

(SOUNDBITE OF BUZZER)

BURESS: People trying to hate. Hater buzzer.

EISENBERG: That's right. That's right.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: You've got two minutes to get as many as you can.

BURESS: OK.

EISENBERG: And remember, if you get enough right you will both win an ASK ME ANOTHER prize.

BURESS: All right.

EISENBERG: And Brent, are you ready?

NYCZ: As ready as I'm going to be.

EISENBERG: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Your time starts now.

BURESS: She's not looking for a broke N word.

(LAUGHTER)

NYCZ: Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx, "Gold Digger."

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BURESS: Apologies. Apologies and sadness and apologies and singing. And weird video with a dog in it. Atlanta.

NYCZ: "Ms. Jackson" by OutKast.

BURESS: Yes, sir.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

BURESS: Your top, one of your top karaoke songs...

NYCZ: "Empire State of Mind."

BURESS: Yes, sir.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

BURESS: (Bleep) the wrong guy to triple-double.

NYCZ: "It Was a Good Day," Ice Cube.

BURESS: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

BURESS: This man, this man has weird hair and is forever associated with Michelle Pfeiffer. White lady saving black students.

NYCZ: Coolio Gates, "Gangsta Paradise."

BURESS: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

BURESS: This guy, he sent people to get cheesecake at Juniors and his friend died, and it's about him.

(LAUGHTER)

BURESS: And he has shiny suits and he has shiny suits and Sean John and it's a sad song.

NYCZ: "I'll Be Missing You."

BURESS: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

BURESS: This guy is a big dude. It's about him trying to get, it's an older song. He sings horribly. He's trying to get this girl into a relationship but she's telling him that it's platonic.

NYCZ: Biz Markie, "You Say He's Just a Friend."

BURESS: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF BUZZER)

EISENBERG: OK. Time.

BURESS: Time?

EISENBERG: That was incredible.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: You guys are both waiting...

BURESS: Yay.

EISENBERG: ...prizes. Hannibal, for being such a great sport, Brent, for guessing so well, you're both going to receive ASK ME ANOTHER Rubik's cubes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: And one more time for an amazing VIP, Hannibal Buress.

BURESS: Thanks, ya'll.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "JUST A FRIEND")

JONATHAN COULTON: Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date? But a year to make love she wanted you to wait. Let me tell you a story of my situation. I was talking to this girl from the U.S. nation. The way that I met her was on tour at a concert. She had long hair and a short miniskirt. I just got onstage dripping, pouring with sweat. I was walking through the crowd and guess who I met? Well, whispered in her ear, come to the picture booth. So I can ask you some questions to see if you are a hundred proof. I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah.

She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused. I said, how do you like the show? She said, I was very amused. I started throwing bass, she started throwing back mid-range. But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange. Then when I asked, do you have a man? She tried to pretend. She said no I don't. I only have a friend. Come on. I'm not even going for it. This is what I sing.

JONATHAN COULTON AND AUDIENCE: (Singing) You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend. And you say he's just a friend, oh baby. You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend. But you say he's just a friend.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Jonathan Coulton.

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