Panel Questions You Scream, I Scream; Tax Dance.
NPR logo

Panel Questions

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/528251178/528261628" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Panel Questions

Panel Questions

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/528251178/528261628" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Negin Farsad and Alonzo Bodden. And here again is your host at the Abravanel Hall in Salt Lake City, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, it's the end of the world as we know it and Bill feels rhyme.

(ALUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's the Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Alonzo, Time magazine just earlier this week was invited to a dinner with the president in the White House residence. For dessert, everybody got one scoop of ice cream except President Trump, who got what?

ALONZO BODDEN: We know he likes chocolate cake.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Only when bombing.

BODDEN: Yeah. Any hints?

SAGAL: Well, I'll give you a hint. He also gets extra whipped cream and a second cherry.

BODDEN: He got an ice cream sundae.

SAGAL: Well, I'll give it to you. Everybody else got one scoop, the president got two scoops.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODDEN: You know, we've got to shut this White House down. It is...

(APPLAUSE)

BODDEN: It's just gotten...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: It's true, though. The Time reporters say that when they sat down to dinner, they and all of the other guests got water while President Trump got diet Coke. When the chicken entree was served, only the president got a little dish of extra sauce. And when dessert was served, everybody else got one scoop of ice cream, but the leader of the free world got two.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So that's why he ran for president.

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: And who were the other guests?

SAGAL: It was two reporters from Time magazine, a photographer, Vice President Pence was there. And this is hilarious because everybody else got ice cream. He was only given - also true - a fruit plate.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What did he do? Did he still the president's favorite Hot Wheels car? How did he get in trouble?

ROCCA: I feel like - you know, I'm imagining that the person in charge of all of this is mother Pence, is Mrs. Pence. Mother, right?

SAGAL: Yeah, Mother Pence.

ROCCA: Deciding who gets, you know...

SAGAL: Who's been a very good president this week? You get two scoops of ice cream.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's strange that Pence eats fruit given how uneasy he feels around melons and bananas.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Well, generally, when he encounters fruit he tries to change it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That was good.

ROCCA: Which means he can't get enough.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He just seems fascinated with fruit, you know, for their own good.

BODDEN: It's amazing, though, that the White House, like, they're that scared of setting Trump off that they do things like that. Like, you've got to give him more ice cream or we're bombing Syria again.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We do not want him to get cranky. Alonzo, a New York strip club is in trouble with the state because of $3 million in back taxes. Authorities say that they tried to get around paying their taxes by classifying their dancers as what?

BODDEN: Fox news correspondents.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

BODDEN: Classifying their dancers as independent contractors.

SAGAL: No. Actually, most most strip clubs do that. Don't ask me how I know that. But...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But no, they did something even better. They classified them as...

BODDEN: As...

SAGAL: Well, let me give you a hint. It's more like, so the dancer says, well, that's very interesting. Tell me about your mother's pasties.

BODDEN: As therapists.

SAGAL: Yes, as therapists.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: So the Penthouse Executive Club in Manhattan was paid by their customers for the attentions of their dancers. But the club did not pay tax on that income on the grounds that these dancers are not entertainers but therapists who are providing a valuable service that is not taxable under New York law. Say what you will about that, but in a year this will be the only type of mental health services covered by Trumpcare.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

ROCCA: And...

BODDEN: I'm just curious, did they win or lose on this one?

SAGAL: Well, sadly, they lost. The tax court said it was just a clever loophole. By coincidence, Clever Loophole's the name of the competing strip club down the block.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: And how does that make you feel? Great. Do it again.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Also - but the sad thing is now that that scam's over all these men are going have to go to regular therapists and they're going to be so disappointed. It's like, where's your therapy pole?

(SOUNDBITE OF BILLY MAY'S "MUSIC TO WATCH GIRLS BY/SLICK")

Copyright © 2017 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.