Limericks Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks...Shot of Strength, Tasty Tines, Dark Roast Toast
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call to leave a message at 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago or our upcoming show at the Mann Center in Philadelphia on June 29.

Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

GORDON BELLAVER: Hi, Peter. This is Gordon from Los Angeles, Calif.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Los Angeles?

BELLAVER: Things are going pretty good. A little rainy and cloudy yesterday, but nice and sunny today.

SAGAL: Yeah, well, every time that it rains in Southern California and the weather's miserable it makes the rest of us happy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Gordon, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks you will be a winner. Are you ready to play?

BELLAVER: Ready.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: The salt and the lime are a squeala (ph), but agave plants are the true heala (ph). I am drinking at length for some skeletal strength. For bone health, I drink more...

BELLAVER: Tequila.

SAGAL: Yes, tequila.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Finally, osteoporosis sufferers can stop making their margaritas with whole milk. Researchers in Mexico have discovered that chemicals in agave - what you make tequila from - help your bones absorb calcium. So ask your SMALT to pour some salt on your hand...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...And start doing shots. This is great because now you're far less likely to suffer a broken bone when you get drunk and fall down the stairs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Since you're over the Happy Meal prize and you're done with the old supersize, we are blowing your minds with our three starchy tines. We've just made a fork out of...

BELLAVER: Fries?

SAGAL: Yes, fries...

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Move over, spork, McDonald's has created the frork (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Which is, and I kid you not, a fork made of French fries. Now, you might be asking, a frork? Why? What's it fror (ph)?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: McDonald's says that this contraption is to help sop up sauces that fall out of their sandwiches. Customers say, wait, that's not out yet? So what I just ate was a regular plastic fork?

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: So you pick up - it's a potato...

SAGAL: Well, what it is is it's sort of a little rubber holder which you can put three or four french fries into in the form of a fork. So instead of tines, if you will, you've got french fries. And then you can use the handle to scoop stuff up with the french fries and eat them.

NEGIN FARSAD: You know, it's - for so many years, my fingers have just not done that job, holding the fry.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's hard. It's hard.

FARSAD: I'm so glad for this invention. It's really remarkable.

SAGAL: Yeah.

ALONZO BODDEN: I just think it's great that they sit around thinking, how can we shovel more food into them?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: I know, we'll make the shovel out of food.

SAGAL: That's great.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: With this breakfast, I'm finally able to not spill hot drinks on my table. And the shmear is a dream, it has sugar and cream, 'cause the coffee's baked into my...

BELLAVER: Bagel?

SAGAL: Bagel, yes.

(SOUDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The theoretical breakfast physicists at Einstein Brother's Bagels have created the first ever caffeinated bagel. The Espresso Buzz Bagel contains 32 milligrams of caffeine. That's less than a regular cup of coffee, but it does taste better than Einstein Brother's other new creation, onion and poppyseed coffee.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: So it's caffeinated - it tastes like coffee and it's caffeinated.

SAGAL: Yes.

ROCCA: So it's meant to give you energy.

SAGAL: It is, yes.

BODDEN: We're just becoming too lazy in our eating.

SAGAL: Yes.

BODDEN: Now we have fry - we have forks made of fries. And the bagel - ooh, I can't lift that cup of coffee. Is there any way...

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Is there any way you could just throw it all in one?

SAGAL: Yeah. Bill, how did Gordon do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Perfect. He's been practicing. He got them all right, 3-0.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing, Gordon. Take care.

BELLAVER: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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