Copyright ©2006 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

RENEE MONTAGNE, host:

Time now for StoryCorps.

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MONTAGNE: Many of the stories in this traveling oral history project have been about relationships. Today, two friends, Cathy Resmer and Jules Fishelman, talked about how their relationship was transformed at a potluck dinner.

Mr. JULES FISHELMAN: You're facing the sink and you're washing dishes. And we're talking and there's the pause, and then you asked, would you like to be our sperm donor? And I just, I have no idea what's going on. I felt completely warmed by even the question. But I never asked you how you got to that point.

Ms. CATHY RESMER: Well, Ann-Elise and I got civilly unioned in 2000. I had never thought about having kids until I was with Ann-Elise. But I really wanted to have a known donor. Like, if you'd ever seen “Star Wars,” for example, you know that the whole trilogy is about Luke and his search for his father.

Mr. FISHELMAN: You want to make sure that his father was not Darth Vader.

Ms. RESMER: I did. That was part of it.

Mr. FISHELMAN: I appreciate that.

Ms. RESMER: You know, I just, I really just wanted my child to grow up not having to ask that question in that way. So then we thought, OK, so who are we going to ask? And you were the one on the list, there was only one. And the reason that we picked you is because you are the kind of person that we want our child to grown into, because you're just so kind and gentle and we're happy to have you as part of our lives.

Mr. FISHELMAN: Thank you. It's amazing to hear you talk about that. I knew that when you asked me, you were asking for something so personal and so serious that simply being asked was an honor. But I didn't know at the time that saying yes that you and Ann-Elise where going to go on a hunt to find me a good woman, but you hooked me up with Rachel. And now we've had our first child. They won't grow up in the same family under the same roof and the same rules, but they're going to be hopefully very close.

And it totally blows away the image of family, but that's family nonetheless. And I love it.

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MONTAGNE: Jules Fishelman and Cathy Resmer in Burlington, Vermont. StoryCorps interviews are archived at the Library of Congress. Learn how to record your story at npr.org.

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