Time now for StoryCorps.

(Soundbite of music)

MONTAGNE: Many of the stories in this traveling oral history project have been about relationships. Today, two friends, Cathy Resmer and Jules Fishelman, talked about how their relationship was transformed at a potluck dinner.

Mr. JULES FISHELMAN: You're facing the sink and you're washing dishes. And we're talking and there's the pause, and then you asked, would you like to be our sperm donor? And I just, I have no idea what's going on. I felt completely warmed by even the question. But I never asked you how you got to that point.

Ms. CATHY RESMER: Well, Ann-Elise and I got civilly unioned in 2000. I had never thought about having kids until I was with Ann-Elise. But I really wanted to have a known donor. Like, if you'd ever seen “Star Wars,” for example, you know that the whole trilogy is about Luke and his search for his father.

Mr. FISHELMAN: You want to make sure that his father was not Darth Vader.

Ms. RESMER: I did. That was part of it.

Mr. FISHELMAN: I appreciate that.

Ms. RESMER: You know, I just, I really just wanted my child to grow up not having to ask that question in that way. So then we thought, OK, so who are we going to ask? And you were the one on the list, there was only one. And the reason that we picked you is because you are the kind of person that we want our child to grown into, because you're just so kind and gentle and we're happy to have you as part of our lives.

Mr. FISHELMAN: Thank you. It's amazing to hear you talk about that. I knew that when you asked me, you were asking for something so personal and so serious that simply being asked was an honor. But I didn't know at the time that saying yes that you and Ann-Elise where going to go on a hunt to find me a good woman, but you hooked me up with Rachel. And now we've had our first child. They won't grow up in the same family under the same roof and the same rules, but they're going to be hopefully very close.

And it totally blows away the image of family, but that's family nonetheless. And I love it.

(Soundbite of music)

MONTAGNE: Jules Fishelman and Cathy Resmer in Burlington, Vermont. StoryCorps interviews are archived at the Library of Congress. Learn how to record your story at

Copyright © 2006 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio.



Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

NPR thanks our sponsors

Become an NPR sponsor

Support comes from