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Stages of Grief For The 'BPP': Depression
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Stages of Grief For The 'BPP': Depression

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All week long on the Bryant Park Project, we've been working through our grief of losing this show, and losing our jobs. We've been doing this with you, the audience. We've been very transparent about this. But we're doing it BPP-style by mashing up the five stages of grief with one of our regular features, The Best Song In The World Today. We've arrived at depression, and here to join me Ian Chillag, producer.

IAN CHILLAG: Good morning.

STEWART: Good morning.

IAN CHILLAG: My sister, Hallie, is four years older than me, and when she went away to college, it was sad, right? She's my sister, but it was like no big deal. There was, like, no ceremony, saying goodbye, like, I don't remember really being upset about it. Anyway, a couple weeks after she was gone away, my mom picks me up from school. I was in ninth grade. And my mom has this coupon for buy-one-get-one-free Whoppers at Burger King.


CHILLAG: And I remember I was pumped because I was going to get one Whopper and eat it, like, in the car on the way home, and then the other Whopper I was going to put in the fridge, save it, and have it later. And I just remember being, like, so psyched about this plan, and then I thought, ugh, man, my sister, I know what's going to happen. My sister is going to get to this cheeseburger before I do and mess up my plan. I'm only going to get to eat one of these two Whoppers.

And then it - sitting in the car there, it hit me that, like, she wasn't there to steal my Whopper. And I just lost it. I just, like - I was just sitting there in the passenger seat with this bag of these two cheeseburgers in my lap, just bawling. I was just - I just - I was just crushed. And this was, like, honestly kind of a problem I have. I think, like, I don't really feel things until after they happen, and you know, given what's happening with us, like, I've been sad, but I know there is a Whopper out there.

(Soundbite of laughter)

STEWART: Waiting, looming...

CHILLAG: Waiting...

STEWART: In the refrigerator of life.


(Soundbite of song "You Don't Miss You Water")

Mr. OTIS REDDING: (Singing) You don't miss your water, You don't miss your water, Till your well are undried.

Ooh, you don't miss your water, oh...

CHILLAG: Yeah, so that's Otis Redding, "You Don't Miss You Water." It's not my best song, by the way, but I have just been thinking about, like, what is going to get to me, you know? Like, where - what are these triggers going to be? And I was thinking, like, there's a trail in Central Park called the Ramble, and I'm worried, like, next time I run on that, I'm just, you know...

STEWART: I think a trigger for me, and it was - was something so dumb. It was going into Pret to get a sandwich at eight a.m., to buy lunch at eight a.m., and there's a certain smell in that fast food - sort of gourmet fast-food place downstairs in the lobby of our building, and then I realized, wow, I'm not going to do this anymore.

CHILLAG: I'm going to miss this boring sandwich I eat every day.

(Soundbite of laughter)

STEWART: And it makes me kind of bummed out.

CHILLAG: Pretty much anything that's awesome, anything where you heard it, you saw it and you thought, people have to know about this! And that takes us to my Best Song In The World Today.

(Soundbite of song "Bad Girl Pt. 2")

CHILLAG: This is a song by a guy named Lee Moses, and the first time I heard it, it just blew my mind. It almost knocked me over, and after that I thought, I've got to play this on the show.

(Soundbite of song "Bad Girl Pt. 2")

Mr. LEE MOSES: (Singing) And I've fallen in love with a wonderful woman that's good to me...

CHILLAG: So, that's Lee Moses. That's called "Bad Girl Pt. 2."

(Soundbite of laughter)

CHILLAG: There's a "Bad Girl Pt. 1," which I also recommend. And this is my Best Song In The World Today for depression. You know, I didn't pick this to represent depression because it's a sad song or a depressing song. I've picked it because it's wonderful, and I know that I'm going to come across wonderful things in the next few months, and they're going to feel horrible, because, you know, I'm going to be reminded that the perfect place to put them isn't around anymore. You know, that's the really depressing thing, is, like, even good things feel bad.

STEWART: On our fourth stage of grief, depression, from Ian Chillag.

(Soundbite of song "Bad Girl Pt 2")

CHILLAG: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop it, stop it.

If this really is the last time we're going to do this, I want to do it right. Here we go. This is Lee Moses, "Bad Girl Pt. 2," my last Best Song In The World Today.

(Soundbite of song "Bad Girl Pt. 2")

Mr. MOSES: (Singing) Big brother told me not to fall in love with a holy woman. Ha, ha. Love, don't you treat me like a thief. But I've never let her alone. And I've fallen in love with a wonderful woman that's good to me. Ha. She's very good, very bad, very good Dear God, I may be wrong but (unintelligible), (Unintelligible) happy with that woman. (Unintelligible) I've got to have, lord have mercy. Ow! Ow! Ow! Bad girl!

STEWART: That was The Best Song In The World Today, expressing the fourth stage of grief, depression. That was courtesy of Mr. Ian Chillag.

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