In Wired World, Handwritten 'Thank You' Still Tops
Even if you say "thank you" by e-mail, it's best to follow up with a handwritten note, says etiquette expert Peggy Post. hide caption
For many, summer is a time of transition: weddings, graduations, job interviews. And that means it's also a season for thank-you notes.
In today's world, e-mail has replaced snail mail as the preferred mode for much communication. But etiquette expert Peggy Post and Judy Gilbert, Google's director of staffing programs, both agree that a handwritten note is still the best way to say "thank you." They talk to Michele Norris about what's proper and what's not -- and offer advice on pitfalls to avoid.
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Ten Dos and Don'ts of Thank-You Notes
Here is a checklist for the perfectly written expression of gratitude.
Tips for Writing Notes
Peggy Post is spokesperson and author for the Emily Post Institute, and great-granddaughter-in law of etiquette doyenne Emily Post.
- Remember: Be sincere and write promptly.
- Write from the heart.
- Use expressions that are natural to you.
- Keep it brief and to the point.
- Don't forget to include the date.
- Do your best to write legibly.
- Include a "How are you?"
- In thank-you notes, be appreciative and …
- … say something specific about the gift.
- Note life events with personal letters.
- Above all, be gracious.
-- From Peggy Post, Etiquette, 17th edition
- Do personalize your notes and make reference to the person as well as the gift.
- Do be enthusiastic, but you don't need to gush. Avoid saying that a gift is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen unless you mean it.
- Don't send form letters or cards with printed messages and just your signature; don't use e-mail or post generic thank-you's on your Web site in lieu of personal notes.
- Don't mention that you plan to return or exchange a gift or indicate dissatisfaction in any way.
- Don't tailor notes to the perceived value of gifts. No one should receive a dashed-off, perfunctory note.
- Do refer to the use you will make of money gifts. Mentioning the amount is optional.
- Don't include photos or use photo cards if this will delay sending notes.
- Do promptly acknowledge receipt of shipped gifts; either send your thank-you within a few days, or call or e-mail the sender -- following up with a written note soon.
- Don't use lateness in writing as an excuse not to write. If you're still sending thank-you notes after your first wedding anniversary, keep writing.
- Do remember that a gift should be acknowledged with the same courtesy and generous spirit in which it was given.
From the Emily Post Institute, www.emilypost.com