Olympic Events We Will Invent Ourselves In The Next 24 Hours If It Keeps Snowing
This lady was spotted getting through the D.C. blizzard today. We feel her pain. Mandel Ngan/Getty Images hide caption
1. Icicle Dart-Throwing Into Own Eye
2. Snowman Construction (Easter Island Statue Division)
3. 500-Meter Butterfly In Regulation-Sized Pool Of Hot Cocoa
4. Driveway Ice Dancing
5. Whiskey Gulping
6. Curling Into Fetal Position Instead Of With Broom
7. Claustrophobic Window-Banging
8. Screaming Like Crazy Person Out Open Window While Sobbing Uncontrollably
9. Rhythmic Gymnastics Performed With Downed Power Lines Instead Of Ribbons
10. Two-Man Luge With Neighbor Shoveling Driveway Who's Frankly Lookin' Better Every Minute
11. Anticlimactic Ski Jump From Roof To Snowdrift Inches Below Roof
12. Spice Hockey (Played On Kitchen Floor With Cardboard Poster Tubes)
13. Synchronized Food Hoarding
14. Iceminton
15. Biathlon Where Instead Of Skiing There Is Sitting On The Couch And Instead Of Shooting There Is Working The Remote
16. Despairathon
17. Slamming Door As Quickly As Possible After Pondering Going Outside
18. Digging For Pedestrians
19. Finding Your White Pet With A Locator Beacon
20. Speed-Skating In Socks While Screaming "How's This, Apolo Anton Ohno?"