Who's Carl This Time? Carl reads three quotes from the week's news. This week: President Obama doesn't get even, he gets mad; U.S. vs. the World; and a shiny new toy loses its shine.

Who's Carl This Time?

Who's Carl This Time?

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/127784496/127784490" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

Carl reads three quotes from the week's news. This week: President Obama doesn't get even, he gets mad; U.S. vs. the World; and a shiny new toy loses its shine.

CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and Chicago Public Radio, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. And here's your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you, Carl. Thank you everybody. Thank you so much. It is, in fact, exciting. It's exciting. I'll tell you why, we got legendary comedian Robert Klein joining us later.

But first, everybody - you probably heard this. Everybody inside the Beltway has been talking about this pool party held at the vice president's residence for members of the White House Press Corps. Well, it's not surprising we weren't invited after what happened last year.

KASELL: I swear, Peter, Biden told me it was bathing suit optional.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Anybody could make that mistake I guess, Carl. Well whatever you're wearing, give us a call. The number is 1-888-Wait Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

ANDREW JESSE: Hi, this is Andrew from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

SAGAL: Hey, Andrew, how are you?

JESSE: I'm doing well.

SAGAL: Well now, what do you do there?

JESSE: I am an investment analyst.

SAGAL: Really?

JESSE: Yes.

SAGAL: So you say that's a good investment or that's a bad investment?

JESSE: Down to a nutshell, yeah, I do that.

SAGAL: There you go. I could do it.

JESSE: I just get out my darts and my dartboard.

SAGAL: There you go.

JESSE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Well, Andrew, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, say hello to one of the women behind the Washington Post's "Reliable Source" column, Ms. Roxanne Roberts.

JESSE: Hi, Roxanne.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Hello.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Next, a writer for the Boston Globe magazine and an author of the book now in paperback, "Idiot America," Mr. Charlie Pierce.

JESSE: Hi, Charlie.

CHARLIE PIERCE: Hello, Andrew.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

PIERCE: Always nice to hear from my adopted hometown.

JESSE: All right.

SAGAL: And lastly, say hello to a comedienne performing June 19th at the Count Baise Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey, Ms. Paula Poundstone.

JESSE: Hi, Paula.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: (Unintelligible).

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Andrew, you're going to start us off with Who's Carl This Time. Carl Kasell is going to read you three quotes from the week's news. Your job, correctly identify or explain just two of them. Do that, and you'll win our prize, Carl's voice on your home answering machine. Ready to play?

JESSE: I am ready.

SAGAL: All right, here is your first quote.

KASELL: We talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick.

SAGAL: That was somebody on the "Today Show" doing his best to show how very, very mad he really is. Who?

JESSE: That would be President Obama.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: After weeks of pressure from the media, citizens, the left and the right, to finally show a little anger, Obama did it. He showed a little anger, a tiny little anger. This gesture was obviously a pathetic attempt to pretend the president was something he is not. It was like Dukakis going for a ride in that tank, or George H. W. Bush saying he likes pork rinds, or Bill Clinton getting married.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: Who was the last president we had who was a viable ass kicker anyway? Lyndon?

SAGAL: Well, Lyndon Johnson, put the boot in I think quite legitimately.

ROBERTS: Teddy Roosevelt was an ass kicker.

SAGAL: Teddy Roosevelt.

PIERCE: Yeah, but that was - I mean, that's a long time ago.

SAGAL: Yeah.

PIERCE: I think Lyndon was really the last.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, but he kicked bears didn't he?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now he's...

PIERCE: Nixon would hire criminals to kick the ass.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What's interesting though is that now President Obama has crossed this line. He's going to go all the way. In fact, the president has started revisiting some of his more famous speeches from the past. He's going to try to make them more angry, more salty. We have some tape, let's hear it.

BARACK OBAMA: From coast to coast, from sea to shining sea, yes we (bleep) can. Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: There you go. All right, very good. Here is your next quote.

KASELL: It's been crazy. People are blowing vuvuzelas, and the motorists caught in traffic are blowing their hooters.

SAGAL: That was a South African, expressing amazement, we think, about the enthusiasm in that country for what big event, starting this weekend?

JESSE: Well that would be the World Cup.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes, it's the World Cup.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The quadrennial world sporting event during which America, usually the world's only superpower, suddenly has all the sway and swagger of the island nation of Palau.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: As always, in the face of certain defeat, we Americans pretend not to care. In fact, one year we just tried to pick up our ball and go home, but then all these foreign people got mad and yelled, "You can't pick up the ball."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: What was the first word?

PIERCE: Yeah, what are they blowing, Carl?

SAGAL: They're blowing...

KASELL: Vuvuzelas.

SAGAL: We had to look this up. Vuvuzelas are these trumpets that are really popular...

PIERCE: I hope so.

SAGAL: ...in South Africa, especially among soccer fans. You know, the ones you see like the Romans blow them to introduce something. That's what they look like, those long trumpets.

POUNDSTONE: Wait...

SAGAL: And they're very popular in South Africa.

POUNDSTONE: Do, do, what?

SAGAL: Do, do, do, do.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: That sounded actually kind of like a kazoo.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: I'm sorry.

SAGAL: Don't mock a man's vuvuzela, Roxanne.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Is it vuvuzelus?

SAGAL: No, it's vuvuzela.

ROBERTS: Vuvuzela.

SAGAL: Vuvuzela.

POUNDSTONE: When you looked it up, where did you look it up?

SAGAL: Wikipedia.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Where else?

POUNDSTONE: Oh, well then we know it's true.

SAGAL: Yeah. All right, here is your last quote.

KASELL: Stop me if you've already seen this.

SAGAL: That was Steve Jobs admitting at this week's big Apple event that he wasn't the first one to show us the new what?

JESSE: iPhone.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Maybe it was because the Gizmodo website already leaked all the features of the new iPhone months ago. But even Jobs seemed to know the excitement was gone this time when he introduced the new iPhone 4. Our relationship with the iPhone has somehow faded. You find yourself just pushing its button over and over just to get a reaction.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Then one day it happens, you slip up, and in the heat of a texting session you call it a BlackBerry.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: I am with my original iPhone.

SAGAL: Really?

ROBERTS: Yes. I'm not the kind of person that throws it over for the latest model.

SAGAL: It's...

POUNDSTONE: What does it have that the other ones don't have, the new iPhone?

SAGAL: It's newer.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: It's blonder.

PIERCE: It's younger.

SAGAL: It's younger.

ROBERTS: It's thinner.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Andrew do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well you cannot do better, Peter. Andrew had three correct answers, so he wins our prize.

SAGAL: Well done. Thank you so much for playing. Congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

JESSE: Oh, thank you very much.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

JESSE: Thank you.

Copyright © 2010 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.