Who's Carl This Time? Carl reads three quotes from the week's news. This week we bid goodbye to the White House's Chief Potty Mouth; Joe Biden threatens a whuppin'; and we remembah a gifted actuh.

Who's Carl This Time?

Who's Carl This Time?

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Carl reads three quotes from the week's news. This week we bid goodbye to the White House's Chief Potty Mouth; Joe Biden threatens a whuppin'; and we remembah a gifted actuh.


From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. And here's your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.


Thank you, Carl.


SAGAL: Thank you everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you everybody, great to see you. We got a great show for you today, as always. We got indie music pioneer Mac McCaughan from Superchunk. He'll be by later to answer our questions.

But first, this has been such an amazing week at NPR, with the parties and the celebrations, and the tear-filled speeches of congratulations. For the first time ever, a broadcast of ALL THINGS CONSIDERED was used as background music for a love scene.


SAGAL: It's true. It happened Tuesday night, the CBS Drama, "The Good Wife." Not to be too graphic about it, but all the elements of romance were there - the man, the woman, the steamy bathroom, followed by a report on the expirations of the Bush tax cuts. It was hot.


SAGAL: So nice to know that NPR News reports have the same effect on other people as it does on us.


SAGAL: Whatever you're inspired to do by the sound of our voices, take a break for a minute and give us a call. The number is 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888- 924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

VANESSA BURRIS: Hi, this is Vanessa from Columbus, Ohio.

SAGAL: Hey, Vanessa, how are things in Columbus?

BURRIS: Pretty good.

SAGAL: Capital of Ohio. What do you do there?

BURRIS: I am an administrative aide at the Ohio State House. I promise, it sounds fancier than it is. I'm basically a secretary.


SAGAL: I was about to say it actually doesn't sound that fancy. But there you are.


SAGAL: Different state houses have different reputations. The Illinois State House is an asylum. What is...


SAGAL: What is the Ohio State House?

BURRIS: Well, the Ohio State House was built by prisoners.

SAGAL: There you are.


SAGAL: Vanessa, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a comedian and a past winner of "Last Comic Standing," Mr. Alonzo Boden, right there.


ALONZO BODEN: Thank you. Hello.

BURRIS: Hello.

BODEN: Hi, Vanessa.

SAGAL: Next, it's the woman behind the advice column "Ask Amy" and the author of the memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville," Ms. Amy Dickinson.


AMY DICKINSON: Hey, Vanessa.

SAGAL: Finally, it's a humorist and the author most recently of "Hail, Hail, Euphoria: The Marx Brothers in Duck Soup," Mr. Roy Blount, Jr.


ROY BLOUNT JR: Hey. Hey, Vanessa.

BURRIS: Hi, Roy.

SAGAL: You're going to play Who's Carl This Time, Vanessa. Carl Kasell is going to read you three quotes from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, of course, you'll win our prize, Carl's voice on your home answering machine. Are you ready to go?

BURRIS: Let's do it.

SAGAL: Let's do it.

BODEN: There you go.

SAGAL: Here is your first quote.

KASELL: I wake up some mornings hating me, too.

SAGAL: That was a moment of honesty from somebody who, having inspired many others to hate him in the White House, and in Washington, left his job this week. Who was it?

BURRIS: That was Rahm Emanuel.

SAGAL: It was Rahm Emanuel.




SAGAL: Tired of jockeying a desk in some unimportant government job, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel is coming back to Chicago to run for mayor. There are some obstacles to that goal. First, as a relatively young man, Mr. Emmanuel doesn't know enough dead people, an important demographic in Chicago politics.


SAGAL: Also, and this is true, the guy he sublet his Chicago home to will not move out to let Rahm come back.


SAGAL: This is not an auspicious start to his campaign. How is Chicago going to respect him if he can't even arrange the murder of his own tenant?


SAGAL: Of course, he hopes to do for Chicago what he did for Obama. After two years, half the country will hate it, and 30 percent of Americans will think it's a Muslim country.


BLOUNT JR: What kind of name is Rahm? Is that short for something? Rhamper or something?

BODEN: Well, I was waiting to see his birth certificate.

SAGAL: Yeah.



SAGAL: Yeah, in Chicago people were like, I don't know, he was born in Iowa. I'm pretty sure of it. Have you heard that? We wouldn't like that.

DICKINSON: So, you know, is Chicago ready for this, like, ballet-dancing - I don't know, he's a little bit fancy.

SAGAL: He's a little bit fancy?

DICKINSON: Don't you think he's a little fancy?

BODEN: I think it's time Chicago upgraded their criminals.


SAGAL: That's true.

BODEN: Bring a little culture to the table. A little ballet in corruption just makes it nicer for everyone.


SAGAL: His going away party at the White House was awkward. People shared memories like, I remember the time he was coming down the hall and I ducked into the bathroom until he was gone.


SAGAL: That was a good day.

BODEN: I remember the time he didn't hit me.

SAGAL: Yes. All right, Vanessa, here you go. Here is your next quote.

KASELL: Stop whining.

SAGAL: That was Vice President Joe Biden trying to inspire and encourage what dispirited group?

BURRIS: Oh, I haven't the slightest idea.

SAGAL: Well, it's a big group, he's part of it, and they're very depressed. And they've been whining. And they're about to be really badly beaten by the other guys.

BURRIS: Oh, okay, the Democrats.

SAGAL: Yeah, the Democrats. There you go. That's the clue.


BURRIS: Oh, geez. I love that there are hints in this show.


SAGAL: The White House has decided to tell Democrats to get excited, after giving up on their first strategy - doing exciting things.


SAGAL: The president has been offering the same message this week as his vice president, only in slightly nicer language. They're like, good cop, embarrassing cop.


SAGAL: In an interview with Rolling Stone, for example, the President started jabbing his finger and told liberals they'd better get excited about the midterms. He also said that he was going to pull this damn White House over if you don't put your Yes We Can T-shirts back on right this minute.


BODEN: I just wonder, like, how laid back do you have to be before Barack Obama says you're too laid back.

SAGAL: That's true.

BODEN: I mean, he is the most easy-going, seemingly. You know, when he tells you to get excited, that just means maybe stand up.

SAGAL: Right.


SAGAL: Well, I mean his argument - I mean, he's been going around - I don't know if you've seen this, it's really kind of interesting. He's been going around doing these backyard appearances in homes around the country and listening to people talk. And almost inevitably, the people are all upset with him. They say, I'm your supporter but things are going really badly and why should I continue to support you.

And his argument is basically, look he's like a boyfriend, right, who takes you for granted. And when you say you want to see other people, he's like, well, really? I mean, because the guys out there, they're just awful. I mean, honestly, I'm as good as you're going to get, because all the nice politicians are married or gay.


SAGAL: Sometimes both.

DICKINSON: I think these backyard chats have been - they seem a little tepid to me.

SAGAL: Really?

DICKINSON: Yeah. Like, they always seem - like the pictures I've seen, there are usually a couple of empty chairs. Like that's not good.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODEN: I think when you've fallen from 200,000 people in Europe rallying behind you to you can't fill a backyard...


SAGAL: Yeah.

BODEN: Something's gone horribly wrong.

DICKINSON: It's like...

SAGAL: The advanced people are like, do you have any neighbors? Do you have any kids who have to listen to you?


SAGAL: Do you have anybody?

DICKINSON: Hey, I'm working...

SAGAL: Are there any prisoners around here we can force to sit in your backyard. All right, Vanessa, your last quote is one of many from a remarkable career.

KASELL: I thought of myself as a little bit of Grace Kelly and a little bit of my mother.

SAGAL: That was somebody explaining how he played a man dressed as a woman in the classic movie "Some Like it Hot." He died this week at the age of 85. Who?

BURRIS: Oh, Tony Curtis.

SAGAL: Yeah, Tony Curtis.


SAGAL: He was born Bernie Schwartz in New York, and went to Hollywood where they changed his name and made him a star. He starred in "Some Like it Hot," "Sweet Smell of Success," many other great movies. His first wife out there was the gorgeous Janet Leigh, and he left her for a younger woman, which he proceeded to do four more times. As he once said, quote, "I wouldn't be seen dead with a woman old enough to be my wife," unquote.


SAGAL: Curtis was often made fun of during his career for his thick New York Accent, which sometimes didn't fit his character, as in the, you know, Roman costume drama "Spartacus," in which he played, I am Antonius, Singa of Songs.

DICKINSON: Singa of Songs.

SAGAL: Singa of Songs.


SAGAL: He never minded, and he never changed though.

DICKINSON: But what was that famous line? Yonda?

SAGAL: Yonda lies the castle of my faddah.


SAGAL: Which he never actually said.


SAGAL: That was like played against him. He never really said it. It would have been fun to see him, you know, just go after some other famous roles like, Luke, I am ya faddah.


SAGAL: The truth? You can't handle da truth.


DICKINSON: Go ahead, make my day.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Vanessa do on our quiz?

KASELL: Vanessa was perfect, Peter. Three correct answers. So, Vanessa, you win our prize.



SAGAL: Well done, Vanessa. Congratulations and thanks for playing.

BURRIS: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

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