Elvis Costello Plays Not My Job
Thirty five years ago, a skinny kid with glasses gave himself the name Elvis Costello and started playing rock and roll in British pubs. Since then, he's put out dozens of records and made music with everyone from Paul McCartney, to symphony orchestras, to Burt Bacharach.
We've invited Costello to play a game called "Elvis ... haven't I heard that name before?" Three questions about the other Elvis. No, not that Elvis. The other, other Elvis. That’s right, three questions about figure skater Elvis Stojko.
PETER SAGAL, Host:
Since then, he's put out dozens of amazing records, and he's made music with everyone from Paul McCartney to symphony orchestras to Burt Bacharach. We are delighted he has agreed to play with us. His new album is "National Ransom." Elvis Costello, welcome to WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
ELVIS COSTELLO: Good to be here.
SAGAL: It's great to have you. I will admit, I was a little intimidated. I'm a huge fan of yours. It's exciting to talk to you. And then I saw that on the TV series you've been doing on cable TV, called "Spectacle," you've been hosting a talk show, inviting musicians you really admire onto the show, and interviewing them.
COSTELLO: That's correct.
SAGAL: So as you have done this, do you have any tips for me?
COSTELLO: Always have your clipboard up the right way 'round. That's what I've found.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You've been interviewed your entire career, sometimes not to your pleasure. When you finally had that role of interviewing the talent, did you have, finally, sympathy for poor schmoes like me, who have to do it for a living?
COSTELLO: I just tried to remember the very first time I was ever interviewed, and I was interviewed by a man who had apparently been sent by central casting from an old English movie - wearing a stained mackintosh and a long plume of ash on his cigarette, who wanted to ask me: Tell us about the girls, then.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
COSTELLO: Just assuming that there must be stories about the girls, if I was in the business I was in.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: But there are some stories about girls, aren't there?
COSTELLO: Well, we can't get into them now because it's a family show.
SAGAL: Well, yeah, it's a shame because I had just written down my first question - which was, tell us about the girls, eh?
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You were, back when you started - you've heard this before; you know this - you had the reputation of being an angry young man as a performer.
COSTELLO: Now, I'm an angry old man.
SAGAL: Really? Because...
COSTELLO: Yeah.
SAGAL: Have you not mellowed? It seems like you've mellowed a bit, to me. Am I wrong?
COSTELLO: No, I think that probably when I started out, a lot of that which was taken for anger was probably impatience and shyness, strangely enough. I know it seems like a crazy thing to say. But I did just want to get on with my job, and I was a bit impatient. Anger covers a lot of - it could be a useful thing if it's righteous indignation. If you're just mildly vexed...
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
COSTELLO: You know, if you're going around and the whole time and you're like, being mildly vexed, I don't think that would be very - that wouldn't be much of an act.
SAGAL: That'd be great - to be the vexed, middle-aged man of British pop.
COSTELLO: Yeah. I used to be an angry young man, and now I'm just a mildly vexed chap.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: Can I ask you a question? If you hadn't gone into music, what would you have been?
COSTELLO: The first job I went for when I left school was an admiralty chart corrector.
SAGAL: Hold on, an admiralty chart...
COSTELLO: An admiralty chart corrector. Hold on a second, my young son just wandered in, looking for his mother.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
MO ROCCA: She's great, by the way.
COSTELLO: She is here.
SAGAL: Oh, that's good.
COSTELLO: Hold on one second.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
COSTELLO: It's like "I Love Lucy" around here.
SAGAL: It's very much like that, actually. Your wife, of course, is the extraordinarily talented musician Diana Krall.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: I mean - actually, you guys, you know, like oh, British rocker, Canadian jazz pianist. It's like a sitcom. You realize this, don't you?
COSTELLO: Well, exactly. Believe me, it's much more like that than you imagine.
ROBERTS: The chart corrector.
SAGAL: The chart. So you're an admiralty chart corrector.
COSTELLO: Yes, an admiralty chart corrector. That's what I went for. And then they discovered that because of my unfortunate left-handedness, me copying the tracings of the latest sandbanks and wrecks onto the charts that came in from the ships that came ashore in Liverpool, probably have increased the amount of naval disasters.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really?
COSTELLO: Yes. Oh, I then got a job in a bank. And I was given the task of being the lookout during the delivery of the bullion.
ROCCA: Oh, my.
COSTELLO: I was given a whistle.
SAGAL: A whistle?
COSTELLO: It was a very nice whistle. And they said in the case of a robbery, blow this.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
COSTELLO: And - this is perfectly true - and I thought about it for a moment, and I thought: In the case of a robbery, who do you think you would shoot first? Probably the guy with the whistle.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
COSTELLO: And so I went into rock and roll.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I think it was a safer alternative, and better for the finance system.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: I wanted to ask you - speaking of your son - you have two young children now. Is it harder to be a rock and roller, and to write those kinds of songs you've been writing, now that you're a sitcom-like dad with kids?
COSTELLO: Well, no. I mean, I was actually a dad when I made "My Aim is True."
SAGAL: Oh, of course.
COSTELLO: My oldest son is 35. I hope that they'll dig some of the things that we do. I know they love what their mom does, because they're swinging chaps.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah.
COSTELLO: You know, their taste in music runs - everything from "You Are My Sunshine" to "Hey Bulldog." I'll look forward to them discovering music, but it doesn't stop me any. You know, except that they don't like me to sing because they say it's too sad.
SAGAL: Really?
COSTELLO: Yeah.
SAGAL: Oh, just wait until they're about 15; it'll make sense.
COSTELLO: Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah. Do you have plans to do like, a kids' record? I mean, like Alison, your name is spelled A-L-I-S-O-N, something like that?
COSTELLO: Yeah. I mean I have some very ready-made songs, I think, that would suit it. If I were to make a children's record, I think I would make a good - like, Halloween record, or something like that.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah.
COSTELLO: With my face and voice, it would probably be the only option.
SAGAL: I have to ask you about this. Years ago - I haven't quite forgot it yet - we had Gene Simmons on the show. And Gene Simmons - from Kiss - he quoted David Lee Roth. He said the reason that the critics liked Elvis Costello, and not people like David Lee Roth and Gene Simmons, is because the critics all look like Elvis Costello. He said this.
COSTELLO: Have you seen Gene recently?
SAGAL: Yes.
COSTELLO: Need I say more?
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Well done, sir. Elvis Costello, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling...
CARL KASELL, Host:
"Elvis - Haven't I Heard That Name Before?"
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Since you probably get compared to the other Elvis all the time, we are going to ask you three questions about him right now. That's right, three questions about figure skater Elvis Stojko.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Bet you saw that coming. Get two right, and you'll win our prize: Carl's voice on their home answering machine. Carl, who is Elvis Costello playing for?
KASELL: He is playing for Jan Schumann of Charleston, South Carolina.
SAGAL: Ready to do this?
COSTELLO: Absolutely.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
COSTELLO: I mean, I hope you realize that I grew up within spitting distance of the Richmond Ice Rink.
SAGAL: Oh well, yes.
COSTELLO: It would be my specialist subject.
SAGAL: You realize - so you know all about this. Here we go. Well, as you know, then, Elvis Stojko is the greatest living Canadian male figure skater - if you don't count Brian Orser or maybe Kurt Browning, too; it's a debate. Since retiring from competitive skating, Elvis has devoted himself to a number of pursuits, including which of these: A, making sure people refer correctly to the Canada goose, not call it a Canadian goose; B, making figure skating more butch; or C, creating his signature line of tailored jumpsuits.
COSTELLO: Oh, I think it's got to be the first.
SAGAL: You think making sure people do not call it Canadian goose, that's incorrect. It's Canada goose, damn it, get it right.
COSTELLO: Yes.
SAGAL: That would be a great thing for him to be doing because it's a problem. But in fact, what he's been doing is, he's been trying to make figure skating more butch.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: He has said that figure skating needs to attract more men to the sport and to do that, it has to be more masculine and strong. That is his crusade.
COSTELLO: Well that's why they're enlisting me into the Olympic team next time out.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Absolutely. Next question - you still have two more chances. When it comes to making things more manly, Elvis is not limiting himself to skating. He's also planning to take over which of these fields, and give it that Elvis touch: A, cell-phone gaming; B, soft rock; or C, cheese-making?
COSTELLO: I thought you said he was trying to make figure skating more manly.
SAGAL: He is, but now he's doing something else.
COSTELLO: And none of those pursuits seem to be consistent with that objective.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
COSTELLO: I mean, I imagine there's an element to this sport that involves apres ski entertainments and nutrition.
SAGAL: True.
COSTELLO: Which could mean fondue. So I've got to go for the cheese.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So if I'm not mistaken, you just made a logical bridge from figure skating to cheese?
COSTELLO: I think after a hard day on the ice, it's cheese-making.
SAGAL: Really? And my sort of hemming and hawing, the knowledge that I'm a fan and want the best for you, doesn't indicate to you that maybe that's not the best choice?
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
COSTELLO: I sense that I'm being guided by a higher force.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, it's my chance to collaborate.
COSTELLO: Could it be soft rock?
SAGAL: It is.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Elvis Stojko released his debut album, "100 Lifetimes," which he described as hot adult contemporary that's quote, more edgy.Tracks include "Fire Ice," "Daddy Will Go First," and "Drop the Gloves."
COSTELLO: I think you find that actually, when you buy that record, it says that the charge will not appear on your credit card statement.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yes.
ROCCA: It's a free demo.
SAGAL: Yes, it will not appear. All right, here we go. Last question - get this one right, you win it all. The next question: Elvis Stojko, like a lot of athletes, has started an acting career. Which of these was one of his film roles: A, the skating stand-in for Robin Williams in "Death to Smoochy;" B, the romantic lead in a Canadian film, "Winnipeg Nights" -
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Or C, masked karate fighter in "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider 2."
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
COSTELLO: I think it's got to be the "Death to Smoochy."
SAGAL: Yes, indeed. Well done, sir.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Robin Williams apparently cannot skate well enough himself. They had to bring in a professional. Carl, how did Elvis Costello do on our quiz?
KASELL: He had two correct answers, Peter, and that's enough to win for Jan Schumann.
SAGAL: There you are, sir. Well done.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Elvis Costello's new album is "National Ransom." I'm a huge fan. If you're not, there's something wrong with you. Elvis, thank you so much.
COSTELLO: Thank you very much.
SAGAL: For joining us on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: What a pleasure to talk to you at last. Bye-bye.
COSTELLO: Bye-bye.
Copyright © 2010 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.
Accuracy and availability of NPR transcripts may vary. Transcript text may be revised to correct errors or match updates to audio. Audio on npr.org may be edited after its original broadcast or publication. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.