Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks: Better for the Earth but still bad for your mouth; Bad news for metrosexuals; And a reason not to fake it.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Carl reads three news-related limericks: Better for the Earth but still bad for your mouth; Bad news for metrosexuals; And a reason not to fake it.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link at our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago or you can check out our live coverage of Sunday's Oscars' award ceremony.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

RUSSELL MILAZZO: Hi, this is Russell from Durham, North Carolina.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in beautiful Durham?

MILAZZO: They're good. They're getting warmer. It was cold for a while.

SAGAL: That's nice. What do you do there?

MILAZZO: I'm a college student.

SAGAL: What are you studying?

MILAZZO: American sign language.

SAGAL: Oh really? You're going to be an interpreter. I always wondered when people have done it for me, interpreted our shows, if the interpreters are like talking about us to the hearing impaired people, saying "don't worry, whatever he's saying, it's really not worth your time. In the meantime, want to hear a good joke"?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I mean that's...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Have you ever been tempted to do that, to do a little editorial commentary?

MILAZZO: That would be a terrible breach of ethics.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I didn't ask that. I asked you...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: Obviously, it's a terrible breach of ethics.

SAGAL: If you attempted to do it. I mean, occasionally you must be interpreting something really, really dull.

MILAZZO: I don't know. You'd have to ask somebody with a little more experience.

SAGAL: All right. Well, Russell, welcome to the show.

MILAZZO: Thank you.

SAGAL: Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to go?

MILAZZO: Ready.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

A hundred-watt bulb made a squeezy cake. But fluorescents can just make a cheesy shake. We're no longer loving the pink plastic oven. Because we cannot power the?

MILAZZO: Can I hear it again?

SAGAL: You can.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

MILAZZO: Thanks.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: He signed it as well.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

MILAZZO: Yeah.

KASELL: A hundred-watt bulb made a squeezy cake. But fluorescents just can't make a cheesy shake. We're no longer loving the pink plastic oven. Because we cannot power the?

MILAZZO: Easy bake.

SAGAL: Easy Bake.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Yes. Big news this week for the iconic Easy Bake Oven. High-watt bulbs will soon be banned in the toy in favor of greener lights. So Hasbro is making a new bulb-less version. The so-called Easy Bake Ultimate Oven. It's powered by some kind of mystery heating element, not requiring a bulb. It promises to deliver the same kind of half-baked inedible sea sponges that have been enjoyed by long-suffering parents for generations.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: We had one when my kids were little, and the safety warnings on it were such that even your child was like, well why would you have bought me that?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This will kill me.

POUNDSTONE: There were so many. Like, don't touch that and don't touch that and then it was like, there's a retractable ten-foot pole that you remove it with now.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh man.

SAGAL: It's terrible. All right, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: High fashion is always a curse and for men, the back pain will get worse. They'll wear it like Beckham, but bent spines will wreck them. They're injured from having a?

MILAZZO: Purse.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Over the last few years, men, especially in Europe, have given up the briefcase and adopted the man bag, or the man purse or the murse. Big bags with straps that go over the shoulder. The problem is that men put in too much stuff: their laptops, their phones, the last shreds of their manhood.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For a solution, doctors recommend something smaller, like a darling little clutch purse, dyed to match your hard hat.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: There has never been a good way for men to carry stuff. There just hasn't.

SAGAL: Well there is. There's the tank.

FELBER: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Get in the tank, put the stuff in the tank. That's manly.

POUNDSTONE: I think the covered wagon worked out well.

SAGAL: That's true.

FELBER: I mean when you're walking. You can't walk a tank.

ROY BLOUNT: I'm trying to picture the last shreds of someone's manhood.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, very good. Here is your last limerick, Russell.

KASELL: I've kept feeling repressed for a while, now I'm starting to taste my own bile. At work I feign cheer but the price is too dear. I'm sick 'cause I'm faking a?

MILAZZO: Smile.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: No more Mr. Fake Nice Guy. According to this month's "Academy of Management Journal," fake smiling is bad for you. Scientists tracked a group of bus drivers for two weeks and drivers who fake-smiled at customers were significantly unhappier than drivers who smiled genuinely. Unhappiness leads to poor health.

POUNDSTONE: You know, where did you get this study?

FELBER: Because honestly, it's like which came first, the smile or the happy?

BLOUNT: This confounds everything I've ever thought about being happy.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I want to know where they got the bus drivers and how they could tell what was a real smile and what was a fake smile.

SAGAL: They got the bus drivers by waiting at bus stops. Eventually they show up.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: What?

POUNDSTONE: How can they tell what's a real smile and what's a phony smile?

FELBER: You can tell. There's muscles that engage in a real smile that don't engage in a fake smile.

POUNDSTONE: Which ones?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The smile muscles.

FELBER: The smile muscle. Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: It took you all of five seconds to get to the end of my scientific knowledge.

SAGAL: There you are.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Russell do on our quiz?

KASELL: Russell had three correct answers, Peter, so he wins our prize. Congratulations.

SAGAL: Well done, congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

FELBER: Woo-hoo.

SAGAL: Well done, Russell. Thank you so much for playing.

MILAZZO: Thank you for having me.

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